Cowgirls. Angels. Pirates. Fairies.
On Halloween night, scores of teenaged and 20-something girls will merge these diverse identities together on the streets of Beantown with one thing in common: fishnet stockings.
Yes, that’s right folks. Never mind the lingerie-style tights known as fishnets wouldn’t be too comfortable while riding a horse – all real cowgirls wear them. And the heavenly beings playing harps in the sky? Every angel has stilletto heels and a garter belt under her robe, I’m sure.
Halloween is, if nothing else, an excuse for college students to have bigger parties and get drunker than we usually do. Add some crazy costumes in there, and you have a bona fide good time.
However, I made a disturbing discovery last year. It seems that every female in Boston under the age of 30 (with some horrifying exceptions to the age premise) makes an effort to incorporate as much bare skin and lingerie as possible into her costume. Butt cheeks, cleavage and fishnets were everywhere I turned last Halloween. I couldn’t get away from it – I felt like I was attending a Pussycat Dolls show gone horribly, horribly wrong.
Why is it when given a chance to dress up as anything they want, girls immediately gravitate toward being trashy? Since when did “hooker” become No. 1 on the list of most popular costumes?
You’ve seen them. You know who they are. The girls who wear the minimum amount of clothing possible without being arrested for public indecency, and then want to be respected by the drunken male population circling them like a drooling pack of wolves. They wear tiny skirts and shake their butts so their thongs are making more guest appearances than Ben Affleck on Saturday Night Live, but don’t dare call them anything less than virtuous; you’ll probably get one of those ubiquitous stiletto heels where the sun don’t shine.
Well, guess what. I’m daring to call them out. You girls are the counterpart to the male “bros” – you are “hoes.” You think by dressing like a slut it will make you desired and wanted. You reduce yourself to sexual objects, and let me be the one to clue you in: Not all of you are Carmen Electra look-alikes, and not everyone wants to see the junk in your trunk.
Besides, not every girl who goes out on Halloween night wishes to be casually groped and respond to bad pickup lines like, “You feel all heavenly to me,” or “Hey cowgirl, can I herd your cattle?” If the majority of girls keep dressing like they do and giving guys certain notions, I fear I am destined to spend every All Hallow’s Eve from now on locked in my room watching reruns of “Thriller.”
Halloween should be a time when our creative, clever, abstract-thinking college minds are be in overdrive. Why not dress up this year as your crazy math teacher covered in chalk dust? What about Hangover Girl, complete with messed up hair, wrinkled clothes and a sign around your neck that says, “Walk of Shame?” And you want a costume that will get you attention? No one could resist you if you went as Captain Easy Mac.
I can hear the collective scoffing of college-age boys everywhere, who have no problem feeling like they just stepped into the middle of a bad HBO porno flick on Halloween night. But I don’t care. I, for one, refuse to succumb to the pressure to sexify myself for a decent costume.
But don’t worry, you’ll be able to find me on Halloween. I’ll be the one dressed as an Eskimo, trick-or-treating in a knee-length parka, complete with fur-covered hood and mukluks.
Happy Halloween everyone, and let’s try to keep it PG-13, shall we?
— Sarah Metcalf is a sophomore journalism major and a member of The News staff.
