By Hilary McMurray

Wow … only three more presidential terms before I’m old enough to have my name on the ballot. Unfortunately, thanks to certain events mentioned in my last column “Letter from my liver,” (Oct. 20) I’d be on more tabloid covers than Britney Spears and Paris Hilton combined.

Since this column is due before I can possibly know the outcome of the election (that is, if neither party has decided to cry like a little brat on the playground and demand a recount), I can’t exactly put in my two cents worth about the new prez. What I can do is make some suggestions for who the president should appoint to his cabinet.

The cabinet’s duty, as you should know (and if you don’t, get off my campus and go back to seventh grade), is “to advise the president on any subject he may require relating to the duties of their respective offices,” according to www.whitehouse.gov. Our commander-in-chief needs to use some sense – and some sense of humor – to choose the people he will rely on to help make our country the best it can be. So, ladies and gentlemen, your new cabinet (drum roll please):

Secretary of Defense: