By Hilary McMurray

That’s right folks, I’m coming out of the closet. I’m not going to hide anymore. It’s about time I exposed my true self and fess up to what I really am. No more hiding, no more living in secrecy, no more lies.

I’m a nerd.

But just because I’m going to be open about it doesn’t mean I’m not the same person I was before I admitted it. I’m still me, I swear.

There’s a different kind of closet a lot of people live in. I’m not sure if the door is made from social attitudes, stereotypes, traditions, expectations, nature or nurture, but it’s there. They stay in this closet for fear of what they will be called when they step outside. They are the brains, the freaks, the geeks and the bitches. They are the opinionated show-offs, and they are the arrogant, pompous know-it-alls. They are the scapegoats for those who are threatened by others’ potential success.

I found my closet in elementary school when classmates teased me, claiming my brain was too big to fit inside my head. By middle school, I learned how to remain expressionless when teachers announced that while most students did poorly, one student got an A+. And now, nearing graduation from a selective private university where I am surrounded by lots of people who are smarter than me, I manage to once again find myself shrinking back into the closet.

Friend: So where do you wanna go for law school?

Me: I want to go here, actually.

Friend: Oh wow, so you must’ve done OK on your LSAT?

Me: Well I mean, I’m not Harvard material or anything, but hopefully I’ll get in where I want to go.

Had I not been cowering in my closet, I might have said, “Yeah, I did well, the right side of the bell curve’s a nice place to be. Nothing’s guaranteed, but I’m pretty confident that I’ll get what I want.” But the closet said, “No! You must shy away from any and all outward expressions of confidence in your abilities!”

So why hide? Maybe because smart people see what happens to those smart people who dare assert their intelligence. Two of my favorite examples are Hillary Clinton and Ann Coulter. Ideologically, they couldn’t be further apart, but intellectually, they are cut from the same cloth. They are also cut by the same blade — the one that calls them opinionated bitches. In reality, both are intelligent, attractive women who should be admired for having the “audacity” to unapologetically speak their beliefs.

Another example is from the movie “Mean Girls.” Lindsay Lohan’s character is told by both the cool kids and the not-so-cool-but-still-not-total-zeroes that joining the “Mathletes” is social suicide. So she stepped into the closet, refusing to associate herself with other “nerds” in order to maintain a prestigious social life.

Am I saying women are more “likeable” if they conceal their intellect? Yes, but the nerd closet doesn’t necessarily have the familiar lady-in-skirt pictorial nailed to the door.

In 1966, the Black Panther Party was formed, and one of the party’s rules was that members must read for no less than two hours a day (www.marxists.org). Now, almost 40 years later, Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) reminds us that we must “eradicate the slander that says a black youth with a book is acting white.”

What about Condoleeza Rice? She didn’t take the Monica Lewinsky route to gaining recognition in the White House, and she certainly didn’t get there by hiding her intelligence, but she was slammed for being “Bush’s puppet.” But when September 11 occurred, the nation was quick to blame Condi for lack of intelligence — both her and the Central Intelligence Agency.

Women and minorities take on criticism when they stand up and say, “Hey, I have functioning gray matter.” Shall we assume this occurs because our society is patriarchal and racist? Not necessarily.

This closet doesn’t discriminate. White men find themselves locked in this closet as well. Do you think Bill Gates was getting lots of chicks when he was just a Napoleon Dynamite-glasses-wearing computer geek?

Why would anyone, regardless of whether they are male, female, white, black or something in between, expose themselves as being a nerd and risk ridicule when our own president says, “And to the C students, I say, you, too, can be president of the United States.” (www.washingtonpost.com)

We are a culture that is way too comfortable with mediocrity. This is a call to those who would rather read Kerouac than Cosmo, who groove to Britney but blast Bach and who aren’t ashamed to choose the library over the liquor store. Achievements need not be followed by apologies, and honors need not be followed by humility. Step out of that damn closet and start being proud of what God gave you.

– Hilary McMurray can be reached at [email protected].