By Kristen Oliveri

I don’t like to think I’m a traitor to my generation, but many times, I’m just that. Call me crazy, but I’m an old fashioned kind of person, and when it comes to dating, I am floored by how college students go about the process. Due to technological advances such as Instant Messenger, text messaging and e-mail, people have lost sight of the whole premise of dating.

We’ve lost the sense of spontaneity in romance. All our generation knows is sporadic messages pasted together in an online chat, someone’s buddy info pasted on their Web log. We’ve forgotten that feeling in the pit of our stomach when we’re trying to work up the courage to ask the object of our affection out on a date. All we do now is sit at our keyboards and type in a random, “So what are you doing Friday night?” If you don’t get your desired response, there’s no harm done.

What I think we forget as a generation is how to socially interact with one another. Dating is all about finding a connection with someone — whether it’s physical, emotional or intellectual. But all these things can only be found if you spend time with a person. Take time to learn their mannerisms and their facial expressions. You can tell a lot about a person by how they smile or the way they say something. A facial expression or tone of voice can convey a very important meaning, rather than a smiley face over a computer screen. How can you tell someone’s reaction to something if you can’t interact with that person face to face?

People today can not even fathom meeting someone pumping gas, at the grocery store or walking in a park and asking a stranger for a date. A curious glance or friendly smile might be misconstrued as creepy. No one wants to go out with that cute person they bumped into in the frozen food section of Shaw’s. It’s just not how things are done anymore. Why can’t we take romantic risks?

The problem is that we use the Internet as a way of skirting around uncomfortable situations. It becomes second nature for us to talk about things that are bothering us or something we’re mad about as long as we aren’t expecting an immediate reaction. Things we would never say to someone in person all of a sudden come pouring out of us when we have our technological protection. We’ve learned to avoid personal confrontation and replace it with impersonal banter. Telling someone you miss them over an instant message simply does not have the same effect as if it were whispered into your ear.

Gone are the days when calling a person up a week in advance for a date was the norm. Now people can cover their tracks with a generic text message saying, “Hey, party tonight. You should come.” The gadget guessing game comes into full effect when the recipient frantically tries to search for the real meaning behind the friendly message. Intentions become muffled, feelings misinterpreted, and one or more parties can be left clueless.

Maybe we all just seem to forget honesty is always the best policy. Why can’t we all just suck up our pride, stir up some courage and let the objects of our affection know how we feel about them? I know rejection is the main barrier, and that’s why online shortcuts seem very protective of our fragile egos. We can’t actually see them reject us face to face. We just see an arbitrary message pop up (that usually took a few frantic moments to construct) that says they’re busy or they have plans or they’re currently seeing someone else.

But ultimately, what do you have to lose? So someone doesn’t want to date you; it may seem like the end of the world, but it’s not. At least you can say you didn’t give up without a fight. Long after computer screens are turned off and cell phones run out of batteries, interpersonal communication will still be there. You can’t keep up a tangible relationship with your PC.

You can, however, create long-lasting friendships and relationships that may change your life forever, the simple, old fashioned way.

– Kristen Oliveri is a sophomore journalism major.