In 2010, The Huffington Post conducted a poll to find the rudest cities in America. New York came in at number two, beaten only by Los Angeles. There has always been this stigma about New Yorkers that they are abrasive, unapproachable and unfriendly. I can see where this perception of residents of the biggest city in America might come from, but quite frankly, I just don’t agree with it. Sure, I’ve had my fair share of unpleasant incidents with New Yorkers, but I can honestly say the positive experiences far outnumber the negative ones. After returning from a long weekend there, I took some time to reflect on this stereotype and wonder why locals of the Big Apple get such a bad rap.

For one thing, New Yorkers are supposed to hate tourists. So naturally we expect to be treated like sub-par citizens, either despised or ignored. I’ve heard stories of locals intentionally giving visitors wrong directions just to throw them off. People complain that New Yorkers are pushy, curse at you for walking too slowly, and pretend they don’t know what you’re talking about if you ask for help. Admittedly, I have encountered all of these things while in the city. But when 8.4 million people are crammed into five boroughs, some of them are bound to be rude.

Sure, as a whole entity, New Yorkers may be rushed and surly, but as individuals a lot of them are extremely helpful and friendly. Take for example my waitress in the Lower East Side who wasn’t familiar with the area but talked to her line cook (and during the dinner rush) so she could write down a list of recommendations for bars in the neighborhood. Or the born-and-bred New Yorker who noticed my camera and specifically struck up a conversation with me because of it. He later walked my friend and me to one of his favorite spots, making sure we found the right address.

There was even a woman who saw me puzzling over a map on the subway and rushed to inform me that we were at the last stop before the train headed to Brooklyn, preventing me from taking a long trip in the wrong direction.

I think the harsh impression that the many who visit New York get comes from superficial interactions with locals. The impatience, the brusqueness; it’s definitely a feeling in the air. But when you’re just another face on a crowded street, do you really think anyone is going to care about bumping into you if they’re trying to get somewhere? The same thing would happen in any city if it were as jam-packed with people.

Maybe it’s just my nature to focus on the favorable aspects of any place I visit, but almost all of my memorable exchanges with New Yorkers this past weekend were enjoyable ones. There was the subway musician who got asked to leave by a police officer right after I requested a Simon and Garfunkel song but came over and played it softly for me anyways as his last number of the evening. And how could I forget being invited to a rooftop at sunrise by a group of friends I met earlier that night? I don’t know about you, but that’s definitely never happened to me in Boston.

They often don’t have time to be bothered by your tourist questions, and they may not always be the most polite strangers, but plenty of New Yorkers are happy to give you recommendations and even go out of their way to make sure you have a fabulous time in their fabulous city. Anyone who has traveled can sympathize with being overwhelmed in a new city, and New York just may be the most overwhelming new city to be in.

I understand why they’re considered rude, but the fact of the matter is, most New Yorkers don’t hate you for being a tourist; they want you to fall in love with the city just like they have.

– Annie Henderson can be reached at [email protected].