This year I didn’t make an extravagant New Year’s resolution. Yes, I want to drink more water and get more sleep, but what I really want is a new life resolution.
I don’t want to be a TLC special. Ever.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the “reality” on every channel: Bravo, MTV, E! and of course, TLC. After all, it brought us the wonders of “My Strange Addiction,” “Toddlers and Tiaras,” “Extreme Couponing” and “I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant,” plus the many that have ended in recent years.
I wish I could say I don’t know why I watch, but I do. Most of these shows are train wrecks. I just can’t look away. It’s inescapable; I tune in week after week.
Years ago, TLC stuck to the meaning of its acronym. As “The Learning Channel,” its lineup consisted of medical science shows, “real” versions of CSI and Criminal Minds, and informative shows for new mothers and healthy lifestylers. It’s still TLC, but I’m not sure what it is trying to teach its audience these days.
Now, whether it is reporting or creating them, TLC is all about the latest trends. At some point, its overly-successful one-time specials turned into seemingly never-ending series.
It started with “Jon & Kate Plus 8” – which I watched religiously. The educational value of the Gosselins’ life was supposed to be found in the success of fertility treatments and the hardships of raising two sets of multiples, but we all know how that turned out. Great stardom took over and was propelled by the tabloids, neither of which was TLC’s intent.
Fast forward to the latest hit, “Toddlers and Tiaras,” and you’ll see the same problem all over again. Eden Wood only turns seven this February, but has already secured a modeling career. Last summer, she “retired” from pageantry.
Her success has undoubtedly prompted other families to enter their children in pageants, expecting or hoping for the same results. As for me, I sit watching the show with friends and wonder why families participate in pageants despite the obvious rifts they create in daily lives.
“Extreme Couponing” spawned a similar widespread effect. Apparently grocery stores across the country have updated their coupon policies to make it harder for couponers to walk out of stores with hundreds of dollars worth of free merchandise. I commend these peoples’ efforts to save a few dollars, but is this a practical lifestyle for all? No, probably not.
What is TLC trying to teach us?
A segment of “Toddlers and Tiaras” in which a six-year-old girl made her belly “talk” went viral on the Internet last week. She was heavier than most of the other pageant girls and not only knew it, but was proud of it.
Great, but why highlight that on the show? Yes, it was incredibly funny, but it had nothing to do with the point of the series. Had whoever edited that portion of the interview ignored it, TLC’s focus would have remained on the pageants, not the contestants.
What’s more, this family was TLC gold – they’re couponers as well as pageanters. I have to wonder, though, when did both passions begin? Before or after the premiers of both related shows?
I wish my recognition of all this would turn me off from the channel and inspire a boycott, but it doesn’t. I can’t look away. I’m just starting to fear some day I’ll get a call from a TLC producer who will say, “Hi Sarah. We’re starting a new series on college students who have begun to show crazy cat-lady tendencies. Would you be interested in participating?” and I won’t be able to say no.
Look at its lineup. It’s got a show about being Mormon (“Sister Wives”), being Muslim (“All-American Muslim”), and being a virgin approaching 30 (“Virgin Diaries”). It’s only fitting TLC will find something prominent in my life – cats, say – and turn it into its next big ratings-grabber.
Please, someone just stop me when they do.
– Sarah Moomaw can be reached at [email protected].
