By Maureen Quinlan, News Staff

When people ask me what my hobbies are or what I like to do besides write and go to school, I often want to lie. Should I say I read, hike, cook and hang out with friends? Those aren’t complete lies, but what I should really say is that there is nothing I prefer to do more than watching TV.

I’m not just talking about flipping through the channels trying to catch reruns of “Grey’s Anatomy” or HBO’s movie of the month. I mean marathon, never-miss-an-episode, obsessive television watching.

There are so many wonderful things about watching TV, but there is one very obvious and somewhat painful chore that comes with turning on the boob tube: commercials.

Everyone endures them, networks need them and once a year we glorify them in between football plays. As inevitable as they are, and as clever as some can be, there is nothing that bothers me more about commercials than the celebrity voice over.

It is so unnerving when I hear Tim Allen trying to sell me a Chevy or Julia Roberts pitching Nationwide Insurance.

I guess the idea is that if we hear a celebrity talking about it, we must assume they use it and we should too.

Am I going to buy a Mercedes just because the oh-so-dapper voice of Mad Men’s Don Draper says I should? Probably not. Am I going to run to the store to buy all 100 flavors of Yoplait yogurt because Lisa Kudrow, better known as quirky Friend Phoebe, can deliver the just-as-quirky lines about a dairy product? I hope not.

What irks me the most is that celebrities actually agree to be the omnipresent voices of products or companies. Don’t they make enough money on my beloved TV shows or the silver screen? Doesn’t Jeff Bridges have enough Academy Awards on his mantel to give him ample notoriety so he doesn’t also have to be known as the voice of those cheesy Hyundai commercials?

And what do those companies offer in order for a celeb to agree to be their voice over man or woman? Sure, Jon Hamm got one of those Mercedes he pitched, but he probably could have bought one with his $250,000 an episode salary. And does Lisa Kudrow get a lifetime supply of yogurt? Again, I really hope not.

To me, the most tragic of these pitchmen are two of my favorite TV funnymen. The handsome and talented John Krasinski babbles on about Esurance, an online insurance company. If a gecko can’t sell me “15-minute-or-less” insurance, I don’t think Jim Halpert can sell me online insurance.

And the perfectly comically timed Jason Sudeikis of SNL talks about how sizzling and exciting Applebee’s is. The last time I went to Applebee’s, there was nothing sizzling or exciting about it.

Some friends who traveled to Europe for a Dialogue of Civilizations this summer have told me that celebrity commercials are even more despicable over there than they are here. With one look at Uma Thurman dressed as a hooker on a couch talking seductively about Schweppes soda, I understood what they meant. (The commercial is worth a YouTube view for a laugh).

In our celebrity-obsessed culture (me included), it’s logical to have the faces and voices of our adored stars gracing not just the shows and movies we love, but also the ads.

Sure, seeing a star hawk a product, like Justin Bieber and Proactiv, can be just as annoying. But there is something about hearing a voice you can’t quite place or identify. Our heads say “Who is that?” but our hearts say “Thank goodness I don’t know who that is.”

I love seeing Emma Stone put on lipstick and Drew Barrymore swipe eye shadow across her lids. I love watching Sofia Vergara dance around looking for Pepsi and Ty Burrell talk to oranges. I just wish I didn’t.

I miss not recognizing the voices of my commercials.

Take me back to Mr. Moviefone, the deity-esque voice of movie trailers, or the good old days of jingles. Sure, I’ll take another dollop of Daisy.

– Maureen Quinlan can be reached at [email protected]