Every time I have a “personal” interaction with an American boy, I come to the realization of yet another new rule or theory that I now have to add to the others. One interaction randomly popped back into my head this week, and it truly made me question the word “virginity.”

I looked up the word in the dictionary and this, I promise you, is what came up:

virginity | noun
the state of never having had sexual intercourse : He lost his virginity in college.

Everybody has to lose it sometime, I know I’m pointing out the obvious, but bear with me, because for some people, especially girls, it’s painful and we will never forget. It’s a lot of pressure in the modern day, especially in this society, where it’s weird to lose it past the age of 20. I once heard someone in passing referring to a girl in college who is a freshman and a virgin as “a unicorn.” Well then, I guess unicorns aren’t very rare after all; we are just in hiding behind assumptions of a stereotypical college girl. People around the world, even if they’ve never been to America (thank you, Hollywood), know that if you haven’t lost it already, then college is where you most likely will. Nobody leaves college, still, God forbid, a virgin. I mean even the dictionary knows it.

I make it clear to each boy that I am a virgin and sweetheart, if the words “I love you” don’t come out of my mouth, then it’s not going to happen. Yet I constantly get asked why I’m a virgin; they ask me during the day, they ask when I’m having lunch, they ask at 3 a.m. Though I will be honest, I am the pot calling the kettle black. I like asking people whether they are virgins or not (the looks of shock and horror I get each time never fail). I’m conducting my own research to see whether or not the portrait that society has painted of the youths of today is true: that we are all sex maniacs and losing our virginity is just as basic as throwing the trash out. I say nay to that.

I knew I would come across an awkward situation as a result of my virginity at some point, but I never expected it to be like this. There’s this man. He was so egotistical that I think he spent more time talking about himself than kissing me. At one point of the night, I asked him why he was such a light kisser (they were granny pecks). He responded it was because I wasn’t getting the “full treatment,” so I wouldn’t understand. Oh, so just because I’m not getting the full effect of your fishing rod, I have to suffer with your boring kisses? At one point during the night, he even had the courage to ask me if I would like to lose it to him, promising me he would be “gentle.”

Now I’m not saying all men are like this, as I have met quite a few who in fact have waited until they had a girlfriend for more than a year or two. Not to mention the sweet, quiet boys who squirmed nervously when I asked them, bashful of having to answer “no, I haven’t.” There is no reason to rush for both sexes. It was different for the generation whose men were going off to war, they had to worry about how it might have been the first and last time. All we have to worry about is whether we should do it in his dorm or mine.