After spending approximately a year in this great nation you call “‘Murica,” I looked back at the first column I wrote this semester. Oh, how naive I used to be. If only I could have written myself a guide on what life entails here for a freshman girl at college.
A lot has happened to me this past year and I mean a lot – trust me I’m not exaggerating; the only way to explain my life is that it is a shit show. I’ve been threatened to be sued, forgot my resume for my ‘fake’ co-op interview, slapped a boy, peed my pants in public from laughter, nearly had to pay $2,000 for forgetting about jury duty and the list goes on. Yet, I wouldn’t change any of that for all the money in the world – what I would change is my taste in boys. My choices in men this semester would probably win first prize in the “what on Earth were you thinking?” category.
Looking back at my list of freshman 15 (yep, I gained that urban legend in not pounds but boys), I cringe at the thought that I even considered hooking up with them. There was the cute (only in the dark) boy who volunteered with kids and turned out to be a disrespectful and spineless man, but the best kiss I’ve ever had. Let’s not forget to mention the mortifying fact that I once hooked up with a “sweet” Marine who was allegedly going off to war the next day. I had some serious crazy eyes at the thought of him never coming back home; I even contemplated giving him my favorite necklace to wear off to war (please remember that I am crazy and I only knew him for a couple of hours). He promised to write me letters and did I ever get one? No, because all he wanted was a hookup whereas I was envisioning myself as the girl from “Pearl Harbor.” I fell for one of the most stupid tricks in the book (this one was definitely more my fault).
The point I’m trying to make is that behind all of those guys was a sweet man, waiting patiently for me to finish wasting my time with those inconsiderate, rude men. We women continuously reassure men that “nice guys do in fact finish first,” but are we practicing what we preach? We say we are so uncomplicated and ask why guys can’t be sweet and caring. You may be shaking your head right now while pointing your finger at my horrendous picture next to the column, saying “No, you silly girl, don’t group me in your crazy category.”
Let’s be real here, ladies. At least once this semester, a compassionate man came up to you and asked for your number or a dance or to take you out on a date and you rejected him because he wasn’t good looking or cool enough. I will be the first to willingly admit that I have not only done this once, but numerous times (and to those boys, I truly apologize). Why do we do this?
I believe it’s because we are so caught up in the “new college you” that we don’t want to essentially settle for less whereas in fact we need to open our eyes and realize that maybe those “lessers” (though they aren’t really) are the best thing we deserve. There is this guy in my sociology class and from the start he has been pining for me; bear in mind that I am a feminist and he too is an advocate for women’s rights. Actually, when I think about it, he embodies everything I want in a man, yet I’ve been pushing him away because he looks “creepy.”
But then again, I don’t have an insight to everyone’s personal lives, though I’m so nosy that I would totally relish in it (creepy, I know). Perhaps you want to indulge in these meanies since they are so easily disposable. I know that I’m leaving this semester with a lesson learnt: “Don’t shave your legs before you go out, it’s the only way to guarantee you won’t go home with that weirdo.”
– Sara Al Mehairi can be reached at [email protected]
