Why is it that some of our relationships have great handling and good mileage, while others seem to be on a collision course from the get-go? How is it that no matter how much fresh paint and new interiors we apply to ourselves, we can’t cover up our prior damage?

With each new romance, we take with us the cracks, nicks and dents from the ones that came before. But as we travel down the proverbial road of life, it’s only so long before these little flaws we’ve been carrying around catch up with us.

We’ve all used the lines “I’m just not an affectionate person,” “I’m a Type A personality,” “I don’t do commitment,” etc. We like to lump together the ups and downs of our past relationships into one simple, easily definable package. But is this rush to make things less complicated doing just the opposite?

I can get more detailed information on a used car’s history than I can on the history of my significant other. I can see how many prior owners have had the car and any accidents or damages it was involved in. It’s not just a “fast car,” a “good car,” a “safe car;” it has an individual past that will affect that single automobile particularly.

What if there were a similar service to run a background check on men and women? What if we could get a printout that lists not only how many relationships came previously, but what damages resulted?

Looking over my own used-relationship report, it would read something like: “Four prior owners; involved in two major heartbreaks resulting from infidelities and lack of interest, respectively. Severely damaged in 2003 and issued a “Salvage” title. Through the hard work and support of friends, however, was later given a “Rebuilt” title and allowed back on the dating scene. Engine is dependable, but has a tendency to accelerate too fast. Brakes are sensitive and sometimes deploy air bags too soon.”

If I were a used car, would I even make it off the lot? Would any of us?

It’s not easy to confront all the hurt and mistakes of the past, and it’s these uncomfortable realizations that often lead us to attribute past relationship woes to an inherent personality flaw (“I just don’t commit”) or the other party involved (“He/she was just a jerk”).

It’s naive to think any relationship exists in a vacuum or that there’s any such thing as a fresh start. You can roll back the odometer as far as you’d like, but you can’t take away the wear and tear from a heart.

So what can you do if you’ve been issued a “Salvage” title? While you may not have the luxury of having a detailed report of your interpersonal shortcomings, there is still hope.

By genuinely accepting and carefully assessing any past damages, even the worst freeway pileup can be repaired. It’s not a matter of undoing the past or even rationalizing it to the point of rendering it inapplicable; it’s a matter of being fully aware of yourself and your patterns as to not make the same mistakes again.

Since there is no Kelley Blue Book of boyfriends and girlfriends, we think we can keep all of our mistakes secret; that somehow we’re fooling prospective new romances into taking us home. But even the shortest test drive can reveal what anyone is capable of, and, in the end, we’re only fooling ourselves.

We hide our flaws because we’re afraid of being labeled “lemons,” but in reality we all have spent a little time in the shop. Openness and honesty, with your partner and yourself, can go a long way in a relationship. Sure, there might be a few recalls now and then, but the satisfaction of coming out stronger is enough to justify even the highest sticker price.

– Contributed by a member of The News staff.