The other day, I bumped into a girl from my high school on the street.
I had not seen her in almost two years, so I wasn’t expecting a long or meaningful conversation with her, since I never knew her that well. Minutes after our encounter, however, she told me about a guy she met five months ago and how they have been “on-and-off” since.
It all sounded very normal for a 20-year-old girl – that is, until she told me she had left her pre-med program to live in the same city as he does, and she is now considering dropping out of a local college to be able to spend more time with him and “focus” on their relationship.
I was caught by surprise. Two years ago, I could have sworn this girl would one day cure cancer. It personally struck me as odd that the ambitious girl I knew had now forgotten all about her dreams.
When I graduated high school, most of the girls I knew had big dreams of what they wanted to do in their futures. They were realistic dreams.
With their ambitions, I thought many of these girls would get far in their lives and do important things. Medical schools, law schools, internships and travel were the main destinations for the girls in my graduating class.
Recently I came to realize that I know way too many girls who have foregone their dreams and goals as a favor for their boyfriends.
Boyfriends, girlfriends and sexual partners are all a big part of everyone’s college journey. But when do people cross the line and throw away all their individual dreams to be with someone?
It is not only school that I have seen girls give up. I have friends in Boston who I never see anymore as every waking minute is dedicated to their boyfriends.
Specifically, I have seen girls pack their bags, virtually move into a boyfriend’s place, skip class to better coordinate a schedule with a boyfriend, and not study and fail exams to hang out instead.
It just seems bizarre, for me at least, for someone to cancel her trip to Brazil to go buy her boyfriend a gold Zippo lighter with his initials engraved on it instead.
I feel the trend is that too many girls are trying to find their fairy tale too soon. Everyone has a different definition of her own fairy tale. It could be a balanced, healthy relationship, commitment or even marriage and a family. Everyone is constantly searching for personal, ultimate happiness with her or his significant other. A balanced relationship, though, with a little bit of work, should come naturally and not be forced.
Everything will happen, in good time.
Relationships are about compromise, but one thing that should never be compromised is individuality. While in college, when we’re all still discovering who we want to be, this is our last chance before real life kicks in. My question is, when you give up everything that makes you who you are, what is left?
– Contributed by a News staff writer
“Forks and Spoons” is written anonymously by a News staff member or News correspondent and presents a single student’s perspective of a topic that deals with sex and relationships during college.
