Have you ever had sex?

“What!? Now hold on just one minute!” you sputter with indignation. “That’s none of your business! Too personal! I’m still a virgin!” (Sure, if you say so). Nowadays, with all honesty, sexual activity is nothing to be ashamed of. Everybody’s gettin’ jiggy wit it. Or, if not, you’re probably wishing you were. Help me out, guys. Am I right, or am I right?

Either way, sex is generally inevitable. And if sex is inevitable, then so are concerns regarding sexual safety. Actually, I don’t know about you, but chlamydia, herpes, gonorrhea and AIDS are just a few, oh you know, small, minor concerns that pop into my mind.

Now, call me a hypochondriac, but I like to get tested regularly. You can never be too sure. Plus, there’s no excuse in this day and age not to take responsibility for you and your partner’s sexual health and safety.

However, between getting up the courage to face my worst fear, getting over the embarrassing, lower-my-voice-so-no-one-overhears-me phone call to make the appointment,\ and finally dealing with the suspense-filled period of waiting for the results (“I’m sure I’m fine. What if I’m not? No, I’m sure I’m fine…”). I’m basically a nervous, quivering pile of mush until that phone call brings me a much-needed breath of relief.

You can imagine my surprise when, upon getting to the University and Health Counseling Services (UHCS) – the doctors’ office that I, a Northeastern student, go to only because I am a paying customer of Northeastern’s health insurance policy – I learned I am not allowed to get tested. Now why would Northeastern possibly turn away a student when she is simply trying to be a responsible young adult?

“You have to have symptoms,” they told me.

With that, I was handed a photocopied sheet of paper with a list of “nearby” (Beacon Hill’s MGH is a trek when you’re traveling by T ) free testing facilities, promptly glared at it, until, mouth agape, I had no choice but to exit.

I tried twice. Both times I was turned away with the same reasoning, “You have to have symptoms.” I must add, they did give me one other option: pay an exorbitant amount of money, which is already being paid to my insurance provider.

Aside from costs, the real issue is: do you realize how many sexually transmitted diseases do not have symptoms? Some can be spread even when using a condom, including herpes. Despite ads to “get tested just in case” and sexual health awareness week, UHCS is perpetuating what it is supposed to protect students from. Not to mention the lack of logic, and might I say common sense, which is intrinsic to this policy.

Needless to say, I’m a good actress: swallowing my pride, I pretended to have symptoms. Thankfully, I’m perfectly healthy!

And with any luck, that’ll be the last thing I’ll be faking this semester.

– Ashly Pietras is a middler art major.