If you’ve ever been ignored through text, cyberbullied or received a text that was rude, chances are you’ve felt a sinking feeling in your stomach that makes the world momentarily seem miserable. The way we interact with people online is vastly different from face-to-face communication. Especially during the pandemic, online communication has become a convenient way to cherish our relationships, but it has its caveats. There are various online communication issues that college students face that could threaten their relationships more than they realize. Recognizing the harmful potential of online interactions needs to be more of a common practice as technology is increasingly embraced in our daily lives.

According to Forbes, some people prefer texting to in-person communication because it “puts some extra space between us and our recipients.” However, some people are too comfortable with that extra distance and as Forbes contributor Alice G. Walton states, “say [things] in texts that they would never say in person.”

To combat this situation, Bustle provides multiple tips. Bustle is an online women’s magazine that covers topics such as fashion, entertainment, politics, news and life. Despite the moderate utilization of emotional language, it’s generally trustworthy for apolitical issues such as, how best to address someone online. 

Bustle’s suggestions include the extensive use of emojis, keeping texts short, sending pictures, not sending too many texts at once, trying not to discuss heavy issues through text (i.e. a breakup), being prompt in your text conversations, not saying “haha” a lot and not overthinking your texts. Most important of all, in my opinion, Bustle urges you to pay attention to your tone. To emphasize the last suggestion; which text would you rather receive?

“Remember to submit our group project tonight.”

Or…

“Remember to submit our group project tonight!”

Small deviations in punctuation can make an outstanding difference in the reception of an online  message. 

Sounding rude over text is not the only hazard of online communication. Cyberbullying has become more apparent across the nation. According to a study done in the Cyberbullying Research Center, the United States, 95% of teenagers have access to the internet, which can explain why approximately 37% of individuals between 12 and 17 have been cyberbullied, with 30% having been cyberbullied more than once. Studies published in the Journal of Medical Internet Research have also determined that victims of cyberbullying have a higher risk of engaging in self-harm and suicidal behaviors.

Additionally, sexting, a phenomenon in which individuals send suggestive images via texts, has become prevalent. According to a research study in 2021 published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, nearly 40 percent of young people in a sample of 6,000 individuals across 11 countries have engaged in the activity. Sexting increases the chance for individuals to be harmed, especially if sexual materials shared between partners are spread elsewhere without consent. This behavior can hurt the reputation of individuals whose suggestive images are shared without their knowledge, as well as raise the risk of dating violence. 

Thus, to reduce the harm that sexting has on individuals, sexual content sent between two partners should only be seen by the partners’ eyes. Sharing the content with others without permission is dishonest and irresponsible. A relationship is built on faith and a mutual acknowledgment to treat each other with respect. Don’t ruin the intimacy you have with your partner by abusing the sexts you possess. Furthermore, don’t pressure your partner to send you sexts in the first place if they feel uncomfortable. No one should feel obliged to reveal confidential parts of their body if they feel uncomfortable. 

While sexts are an overt way to make someone feel uncomfortable, subtle phenomena such as ghosting, in which texts are ignored purposely or not, also strain our relationships. Psychology Today suggests that people ghost for two reasons. One is that “we have a false sense of our networks,” causing us to likely value the number of friends we have over their quality, so we may end up not paying as much attention to our companions as we should. Another is that we just “want to be wanted” and may use ghosting to attract more attention and have others “chase us.” However, ghosting deteriorates the stability of a relationship and causes it to be more shallow and one-sided. In ghosting, while one person is arduously panicking about whether something they did pushed their friend to ignore them, the other is probably doing just fine.

I understand that, especially as college students, we seem to be busy 24/7. Sometimes we may glance at a text, promise ourselves to respond, but get so engulfed in the chaos of our life that we forget to fulfill our vow. Other times, we may have someone spamming us about a dire issue at an inconvenient hour. Sometimes we don’t even respond to someone in person if we cannot hear or are too focused on a text to speak with them.

How often do you ignore people in person compared to online? I am an avid texter, but I now try to be more respectful when communicating with my friends online. It takes a lot of practice and patience, but for the sake of maintaining my long-distance friendships (especially with my high school peers), I try to display respect through my texts as much as possible, whether through emojis or random memes. It can be tempting to rant about your peers and professors online when platforms such as Reddit make anonymity convenient. But always remember one thing: behind every screen is an actual person. 

Despite our busy college lives in which the time we can dedicate to our social relationships appears to keep waning, making an effort to be more respectful online is another way of ensuring that our companions stay loyal to us. Technology plays a bigger role than ever in communication, and that trend is not likely to stop anytime soon. College is going to present us with more challenges but, as many of us have already experienced, a lot of times the best way to reach our closest allies at a given moment is through a text. Unlike high school, the time we have to see our friends in person is more scarce and precious, whether you are on co-op, or drowning in five hours of data science homework like I am. Be careful with how you communicate online — the act plays a larger role in our relationships than we realize.

Jethro Ronald Lee is a first-year data science and psychology combined major with a minor in music. He can be reached at [email protected]u.