A sea of decorated caps and black gowns packed the TD Banknorth Garden May 2 for Northeastern’s undergraduate commencement ceremony. The event signified a farewell to the students’ college lifestyle and the beginning of a new stage in their lives.
But college graduates may be saying ‘bye’ to more than just Thirsty Thursdays, fraternity parties and the occasional late-night run to Cappy’s. Many of them will be saying goodbye to their college relationships, sometimes unwillingly.
With the adult pressures of working a 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. job and managing finances, coupled with the realization that social circles are changing, relationships that seemed successful in college may not fare well.
But that doesn’t mean these relationships are doomed to fail. Couples that have successful relationships post-graduation have learned the art of balancing their new lives.
“It sounds silly, [having] to schedule a relationship, but you have to,” said Morgan Ryan, a 2007 Northeastern alumna who graduated with a Bachelor of Arts in theatre.
Ryan is living in a one-bedroom apartment in Boston with her boyfriend of more than three years, Matt Seaver, another theatre major from her graduating class.
Seaver works night shifts for 5 Wits Productions, while Ryan works more regular shifts at Winston Flowers, but the pair manages to spend at least a couple hours a day together, despite having opposite work schedules.
“Strange as it is, going to bed together and sleeping next to each other does a lot to keep everything harmonious,” Seaver said.
But things weren’t always so pleasant for the couple, who got serious very quickly. The pair exchanged I love yous after six days of dating, and four months later, made the decision to move in together.
“We decided we would rather stay in Boston and work than go home and be separated,” Ryan said. “It ended up being a terrible idea.”
The summer spent in a split apartment provided little breathing room. When coupled with the pair’s intense work schedules, things got heated.
“When we came home [from work], if we were in a bad mood, nothing was going to go right,” Seaver said.
The couple said they moved out of their shared apartment and broke up for a month, but reconciled once they realized how to prioritize the components of their lives. It was almost a blessing in disguise, they said.
“I feel like after we graduated it wasn’t really a problem. It was something we had already dealt with and found a really good balance,” Ryan said.
Making time for one another was part of their new agreement. Dr. Julie Albright, a licensed marriage and family therapist and sociology professor at the University of Southern California, said couples who have different schedules need to set aside time for one another so they don’t lose touch.
“You become ships passing in the night,” Albright said. “One’s coming and the other one’s going and after awhile