By Jeanine Budd

Seven stand-up comedians from the New England area performed a free show last night at afterHOURS, entertaining students with an array of both rehearsed and improvised jokes.

The show, sponsored by the Council for University Programs, included jokes on everything from beastiality to race issues, sometimes leaving some blank faces in the crowd.

Others, however, enjoyed the show.

“There was a lot of variety,” said Nona Drago, a middler business administration major. “I feel like everyone could relate to something.”

Ken Reid, a Northeastern alumnus, hosted the show and tested short jokes on the crowd between comedians. Reid opened by informing the crowd that he won’t be able to pay off his student loans until 2029, “which means I don’t technically own all the thoughts in my brain,” he said.

Ahmed Bharoocha, the first comedian of the night, at one point told the crowd that saying taking care of pets is like training for children is a horrible concept.

“It’d be like, ‘Hey, shouldn’t you feed the baby?’ ‘Yeah, I put food in his bowl. He’ll be all right,'” he said.

The second comic was Andrew Mayer, who opened with a poem for his girlfriend that he called, “Mail-Order Bride.”

“The crate came on Tuesday. You were inside. A finger poked from one of the air-holes. It was then, I was sure, it was love,” said Mayer, who someday hopes to create a board game called Bulimic, Bulimic Hippoes.

The next comedian, Tom Morello, said he took the T to Northeastern last night to better relate to the students.

He described a situation where he flipped to a page in the paper and found a list of the top 10 most dangerous T stops and all the crimes committed at each stop.

“Wouldn’t it be great if, instead of announcing the stop, they’d announce the crimes committed at that stop?” he said. “Of course, the last stop would be crackheads, because after you stop at crackheads, someone steals the train and sells it for $7.”

Lamont Price took the stage after Morello, describing his relationship with last year’s Patriots team.

“I cannot remember the last time I masturbated so much watching football,” he said.

The last two comedians were Marq Kaplan and Erin Judge. Kaplan offered the solution of a “holy douche” to Catholic extremist’s concerns about aborting fetuses that have yet to be baptized. Judge then told the audience about a bumper sticker that she saw while jogging.

“It said, ‘I don’t mind God, it’s his followers I cant stand,” she said. “That’s exactly how I feel