Believe it or not, Northeastern has been around for 110 years. And granted, we were a commuter school for a pretty good chunk of that time. But it feels like we’re just inching into the college limelight. We sit quietly at the middle or the end of college rankings, and our rival teams chant “safety school!” at hockey games. When is it going to be our time to shine?

Last year’s Boston Phoenix only enhanced my sentiment in its “Welcome to Boston” feature. According to the Phoenix, Northeastern is “A really prestigious school near Chicag … oh, wait … you said NorthEASTERN? Never mind.”

Yesterday, I came across Trojan’s 2008 Sexual Health Report Card. As I reached the end of the list, scanning for our school among the familiar names, I realized Northeastern wasn’t even graded. I don’t think that means we have poor sexual health; I think it means we’re not important enough for other people to care if we’re running rampant with STDs. (Certain schools rumored to be STD breeding grounds didn’t make the list either, but I digress.)

Apparently Trojan’s checklist includes sexual awareness programs on campus and newspaper articles on the topic, among other things. First of all, Trojan, did you miss our yearly Sex Week? What about the Husky Energy Action Team’s Do It in the Dark program (which mostly just promoted saving energy but had a really great innuendo for a name and gave out glow-in-the-dark condoms)? As for newspaper articles, when I searched “sex” the website for “The Stanford Daily,” the student newspaper for Trojan’s list-topper, Stanford University, nothing came up, while our paper has an entire Sex ‘Health section once ever three issues, complete with a politically correct sex position in each edition. Come on, Trojan, we have just as much sex as anyone else. Grade it.

To add insult to injury, when I was in the Massachusetts Avenue Au Bon Pain recently, the girl behind the counter saw my Husky card and asked me what year I was. When I told her I was a sophomore, she said, “Oh, never mind. I thought you were someone else. All you Northeastern girls look the same.” Seriously, can we catch a break?

In the meantime, I have some suggestions for how Northeastern can jump into the spotlight and finally be recognized as the lovable (if mediocre) school that we are.

First, we should continue to buy our friends. For those of you who caught the shout-out on “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart,” you know it was worth every penny of the huge bite it took out of our Student Activity Fee.

Second, we should find a way for Gossip Girl to be filmed here. Seriously. I bet we could pass as Yale. Or it can be part of Sex Week. I bet you would notice us then, Trojan.

Third, we need some better alumni. Come on, guys. We’re a job-oriented technical school. Our alumni should be so successful they’re signing autographs right after their face disappears from the jumbotron.

Or, maybe we could just move up from number 568 (second to last) on Forbes’ college rankings list. Just saying.

– Rachel Zarrell is a sophomore journalism major and a member of The News staff.