There are some things in this world that you would think people would catch on to after a while. If anyone actually pays attention to certain entries in the Crime Log every week and notices a certain trend, then they should learn the same lesson that one would learn from slamming one’s head in a car door: don’t do it! It hurts.

In the four issues of the The Northeastern News so far this quarter, there have been 27 entries in the Crime Log about some genius leaving his or her belongings unattended and returning to find them missing. The thing that really astonishes me is that these rocket scientists are actually surprised when their stuff turns up missing!

You leave your bag or laptop unattended, and it’s going to be stolen. If you leave your office or dorm room open, people will come in and rip you off. This is the real world, not an after school special. Yet, every week, when you turn to the Crime Log, there is a reminder of just how stupid some people really are.

You never lock your door because your friends go in and borrow stuff all the time? That’s like leaving a sign on your door that says “Clearance Sale, Everything Must Go!”

Call it cynicism, being jaded, or whatever you wish. The bottom line is this isn’t “Leave It To Beaver.” People in the real world steal, cheat and do a host of other things that just aren’t right or nice. Why so many people on this campus feel the need to make life easier for those who would steal from them is beyond me.

Granted, if you are coming from a small town or some little suburb where people can leave their doors unlocked at night or drop their wallet in the middle of the street with $200 in it and actually get the full $200 returned to you, Boston and Northeastern might be a bit of a rude awakening for you. But, learn the lesson quick and toughen up.

Going back to my car door analogy … no, wait … forget analogies. If you need an analogy to make it clear to you that leaving your stuff unattended on this campus is a bad idea, you should go out right now and get each of your friends one of those “I’m With Stupid” shirts.

The fact is, 27 Crime Log entries like this in four issues shows a serious lack of common sense on the part of a large portion of the student body. Actually, that’s putting it too nicely. If you leave anything of any value unattended for even five minutes, you’re an idiot. So you lose your table at the library or student center. So you have to dig through your pockets to get your keys. Deal with it.

I have come to the conclusion that if you leave your bag, cell phone, wallet, or anything of any value unattended, you deserve to have it stolen. You might as well gift wrap it.

The sad thing is, I am quite sure the next Crime Log, and many to come, will see these rocket scientists popping up all over campus who are still surprised to return and see their things are gone. I know I said that analogies couldn’t help at this point, but for you “unattended” geniuses out there, try slamming your head in a car door. Maybe then you’ll forget that you left your belongings somewhere and won’t be surprised to learn that they are gone. One can only hope, I suppose.

-Brendan Reilly is a middler journalism major and a member of The News staff.