I may be a lemming by choosing to write about this, but Joe Millionaire last night … amazing.

The talking behind the backs, the secret revealed, Sarah admitting that she did more than smooch that meathead in the woods — breathtaking.

I wrote about this program once before, poking fun at the women who chose to appear on this show. The Fox executives set themselves up for criticism by airing these sorts of shows, they are asking for even more publicity by airing their next reality program, “Married By America.”

Nonetheless, I watched the final two hours of Evan’s difficult decision. I’d love to be a fly on the wall for those last few deciding minutes in his head.

“Do I pick the chain-smoking bondage star or the sweet, supposedly honest schoolteacher who is tight even with the mayor of her town?”

The hour-long episode before crunch time consisted of the women who were rejected, trying to cover their tracks.

While I can’t assume that all contestants were after the alleged money, these women had to throw their lack of class into the mix by bashing each other. But then again, I can say with great confidence that Heidi, the dress-grabbing-boyfriend-toting woman, is a gold digger.

And why did Melissa M. come back to get Sarah? All they did was bash Evan, a man they just spent weeks vying over. To add insult to their intellectual injury, they thought they were being sneaky by whispering about Sarah’s sexual conquests.

On a positive note, it did make me smile when that English butler gave Zora and Evan, the newly crowned odd couple, one million dollars. I thought it was a nice gesture, but not necessarily deserving of the Gaston lookalike. Apparently, the young man was a bathing suit model, did you see the pictures? He may have a chisled body, but I’m not attracted to that kind of physique, so I wasn’t too impressed.

I thought it would be good for Zora so she doesn’t burn her apartment down. She said on the show that she had been living without heat for some time and she had crinkled blinds from the heat of her oven to prove it.

The show ended so sweetly for such a scandalous buildup.

I wish they could have a second installment of this, but the secret is blown, what will they pull next?