I really love football. It’s easy for me to get excited about baseball, but the NFL football draft is coming up.

You know what else is coming up? Semester Conversion! And though I won’t be here for that transformation of sorts, I have learned a lot through my colleague, Heather Allen, who has basically devoted her life to the subject.

So you’re wondering how in heck I get football out of semester conversion and vice versa. Well, it’s tricky but it’s important to note the similarities between the two.

Love the draft? You bet I do. Love Semester Conversion? Well…

Those, like me, who are seniors are tragically (sarcastic) ambivalent to the conversion whereas most of you, the underclassmen, are searching for answers to impossible questions about what to take next year.

I devised an athletic way to understand the complexities of the new conversion, by comparing it to a two-point conversion.

Seeing as though most sports fanatics go through life using football metaphorically to describe why you cannot be in a relationship with a girl (embrace her like Randy Moss hauling in a catch) or taking the exam (go in there, tackle the exam the way Ray Lewis hits Jerome Bettis), it’s easy to understand even the toughest subjects by using the football analogy.

Ok, let’s get to work:

The principle: Semester Conversion Basically is designed to allow students more time in the classroom. Two-point conversion: banging out two tough yards in crunch time to tie the game.

Advantage: Two-point conversion. Why not go for the gusto?

The decision: Semester: The president of the university or those close to him (or her). Two-point: The coach of the team or, in the case of the New York Giants last year, anytime Tiki Barber fumbles:

Advantage: Semester: Being a member of a cabinet has to be better than being in the doghouse with Jim Fassel.

Mainstream thinking: Semester: Do it for the kids. Two-point: Do it for the overweight, chest-showing, belly hanging drunks in section-4. Oh yeah, let’s get to the playoffs.

Advantage: Do you have to ask?

Participants: Semester: Faculty, staff, students and newspaper reporters. Two-point: An offensive line, a defensive line and one crazy running back who’s only thought is not to come up a yard short.

Advantage: Semester: Pressure is a mother.

Food: Semester: Will cost more for the 19-meal plan (See “My Version of Conversion”). Two-point: If you score, steak dinner. If you don’t, you’re ground chuck.

Advantage: Push. I don’t want to get into semantics here, but let’s not think about not converting the two-pointer.

Drafting: Two-point: An offensive lineman that eats a car for breakfast. Semester: Incoming freshman that enjoy the idea of semesters.

Advantage: Neither. Liam Ezekial would beat both of them.

Drawing a line in the sand: Two-point: The goaline. Semesters: Graduation.

Advantage: Graduation … no question.

What it all means: Semester: A possible trip to the top 100. Two point: A possible trip to the end zone.

Advantage: Two point: Punch it in, guy.

So there you have it. I think it’s pretty simple to understand when you look at it through a football perspective.

So if any of you feel frustrated or worn out on the new topics flying around Huntington Ave., have no fear. It’s only a first down away from being solved.

In the locker room: My final column is coming soon and I’d like to get something from you. In my last column, I’d like everyone to write in describing your favorite sports moments in the last five years. The top five will be chosen by me and I will mention your name.

Andy Cuneo can be reached at [email protected].