This may sound like a news flash, or seem like hearsay. But there are a lot of things duct tape can’t do.

Yes, it can make a wallet, fix your hard drive, siphon gasoline, three-hole-punch, dive for pearls, unite the Carolinas and trap ladybugs and Whitey Bulger.

You sure wouldn’t know it couldn’t do all those things if you’re an investor in duct tape. Recession? What recession? Duct tape factories are open and running 24 hours a day, and the stuff’s flying off the shelves three times faster than usual. Tom Ridge, whose other hobbies include homeland security chief, is also a hell of a marketing director.

Duct tape was one of the things Ridge suggested Americans stock up on in the “code orange” of alert. (Along with water, flashlights, string cheese, a Rubik’s Cube and who knows what else). So, people bought and bought.

And why not? As Dallas woman Marguerite Marz was quoted in the Feb. 24 issue of Time, “I’m not all that worried, but I felt I’d be stupid if I didn’t follow the government guidelines. I got the last roll of 6-mm plastic at Lowe’s.”

This rests on a pretty simple logic; the duty of the government is to look out for its citizens. Pretty much everyone, Republican or Democrat, believes that; whether they think it’s best done through missile defense, spending on social programs, or removing an Iraqi dictator.

This should all be done with the idea of a healthy, productive, happy populace. To use a phrase everyone has begun to disdain, a Sept. 10 populace.

On Sept. 10, we were happy and healthy and productive because we didn’t know about all that stuff. Tomorrow was still a day away. That naivet