Looking for a hot news scoop? Gaze no further than the Hub’s own Boston College. Here’s an actual quote from a BC Heights article regarding cheerleaders and the process of selecting them:

“What went down [was that] people were picked based on their appearance,” said a current cheerleader who spoke to The Heights under the condition of anonymity. “The whole thing was ridiculous and outrageous.”

Huh? Is she serious?

The article continues … “Several female students – including current cheerleaders, as well as cheerleading hopefuls – told The Heights that sports marketing played a larger role in last spring’s tryouts than in past years, requiring the women to pose for full-body photographs, and unfairly limiting the number of students that head coach Erika Beam, who is in her first full year as coach, could accept for the team.”

Now correct me if I’m wrong, but is this not the dumbest thing in the entire world? Dumber even than someone from New Jersey? (Don’t worry, I’ll leave my e-mail address below for angry letters).

Now here’s the kicker. Here’s why this whole pig-tailed hissy-fit is worthless: The cheerleaders aren’t chosen exclusively on looks and looks alone. If that were the case, the Eagles would have a group of rag-tag women tripping over their own feet instead of doing somersaults and flips and whatever else it is they practice so much.

But where the BC cheerleaders run into hilarity, is the notion that looks should never enter into the equation. C’mon people, let’s get real for a minute here. What do they think they wear the skirts for? And the skimpy, low-cut tank tops? What about the tank tops, I ask? Are these people that out of touch with reality that they can honestly think they’re standing in front of people, while half-naked mind you, and fans observe and appreciate them for their exquisite dance skills? Does anyone watch a cheerleader because they can do a nasty handstand? No! And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

And while we’re on the topic, let’s get another thing straight right now. Cheerleading is not now, nor ever has been a sport. It’s a rigorous and demanding task, but in no way is it a competition.

And worse yet, as Rick Reilly stated in a 1999 column, people are actually getting college scholarships for this stuff now.

“Do you realize colleges are even giving cheerleading scholarships,” reads Reilly’s column. “Can you believe that? Sorry, Mrs. Roosevelt, we just gave away your daughter’s chemistry scholarship. But you should hear Amber do ‘We’ve got spirit!'”

And for all those set to rip off a chauvinistic-charged e-mail about my own pigheadedness … stop. I can’t recall ever seeing a fat slob of a male cheerleader pacing the sidelines looking like he’s come straight out of “Animal House” equipped with stains and tight-fitting clothes. Not a one. No, all the male cheerleaders I ever see are the sum of a copy of David Hasselhoff’s DNA. And there is nothing wrong with that. Not a thing.

I salute you, BC. Keep up the good work. I’ll look forward to observing the technical expertise of your short-skirted spirit leaders this fall. And for all the cheerleaders taking a gander at this, I’m ready and waiting for hate mail from people named Tiffi and Jenni complete with heart-shaped dotted “I’s” and smiley faces.

– Jack Weiland may be reached at [email protected]