By Bobby Hankinson

Let’s face it: the gym is a scary, scary place. Buff bods, dripping with sweat and pumping with muscle enhancers and weight loss powders, huffing and puffing their way up and down the Stairmaster as you quietly lift a 10-pound dumbbell over your head is a scene that is not unfamiliar to most.

Now let’s consider the wide array of other machinery and techniques one has to choose from while working out. Running on the track or treadmill is bad for the joints. Lifting weights next to the champion body builder squatting 300 lbs. is just embarrassing. Some of the machines designed to make lifting weights easier look like they were taken from the Spanish Inquisition. So what’s left? Why isn’t there a machine that’s more user-friendly, more approachable? Hasn’t someone stopped to consider the little guy or girl who may not be on the same level as the Olympic shot-put thrower?

Hark! There is some hope and Elliptical be thy name. Finally a machine that not only is easy to use, but it does all the work for you. It’s a combination of a Stairmaster, treadmill and exercise bike, which calls upon some other worldly force to propel your legs into a fevered spinning frenzy, as you hold on for dear life to the “heart-rate detector.”

And as if the designers of the Marino Center knew that the lazy and out-of-shape would be naturally drawn to this machine, they placed it over the balcony overlooking Au Bon Pain and all their customers walking out with tasty treats. So if the magical force doesn’t drive your legs into action, your empty stomachs surely will.