News flash: Pop vet Elton John said Monday that Madonna should be shot for lip-synching, or rather, any artist should be. In this case, Madonna was just the easiest target.

Well done, Elton, finally someone said what’s been on my mind for years.

Apparently, the “Benny and the Jets” crooner launched into a venting session about the “Material Girl” when he discovered she had been nominated for “Best Live Act” for Q music magazine in London.

“Anyone who lip-synchs in public on stage when you pay 75 pounds to see them should be shot,” our beloved “Candle in the Wind” said, as posted by Reuters.

Arming Elton John with the power to vaporize lip-synching “talent” from the world, I’m sure you’d find it drastically different.

So, that eliminates Britney Spears, Milli Vanilli, Hilary Duff, Lindsay Lohan, Ashlee Simpson and the Spice Girls from this realm of existence.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Elton, truly.

OK, so maybe some of those artists listed above may not actually mouth their songs, or make vain attempts to, but hell, they might as well.

It really is quite sad how little credibility these kids get, and I say kids because the majority of them are under the age of 12, er, I mean 18. But, when you think about it, what did they do to lose their credibility? Well, they fit into the cookie cutter outline for what a “teeny bopper pop star” should be and is.

The criteria to fall into such an illustrious category? Why, I thought you’d never ask.

* They got their start like the Welch’s grape juice girl, starring as the poster child for hot dogs, bologna or those odd processed meats that we all hate to love and love to hate.

* Then, jumpstarted their 8-year-old lives and “careers” either on the Mickey Mouse Club, Nickelodeon or a variety of other shows and networks that soon took a turn for the worst.

* Pay the megabucks for “voice” coaches, a.k.a. people who help pull off the illusion that they can belt with the bigshots, magicians of sorts. If only Houdini were to have tapped into that mega-money industry.

* Have now reached a point where their natural hair and skin colors are irrecognizable. Ashlee Simpson with black hair? Lindsay Lohan making orange look fashionable – as a skin color? Thank you bottled hair dye and tanning bed, you gave us the creme de la creme of musical wonders.

Put that together, bake at 350 degrees and let it sit for an hour.

Voila, what you now have is a “pop star” that will fizzle like Pop Rocks after 30 seconds in the spotlight, either that or start the Liz Taylor route of marrying 14 men in a three-year span. Well, at least make their dating rounds.

Not saying that these gals can’t sing at all, that would just be unfair of me. I’m sure they can, as well as my roommate in the shower, that is, a voice that’s great in small quarters but as for on a stage? Not so great of an idea.

Here is where Elton John’s beef comes into the picture. Put one of these laboratory-bred “stars” in front of 10,000 people and cue the intro.

Now which out of the mix could be heard past the third row?

Add a sassy headset microphone, a PA system and a pre-recording. There, problem solved.

But as for “true talent,” that is seemingly becoming more and more of a thing of the past, you might as well not even bother. A pre-recording sounds better than some of the voices of these songbirds gone wrong.

Madonna, well, I never thought that the old “Ray of Light” would be put in such a derogatory category, undermining her decades of success.

Then again, this tirade is coming from the Jimmy Buffet-dressed, colorful Brit who is recently known for calling local media in Taiwan “rude, vile pigs.”

But, after a track record like Elton himself, I guess he has the experience and knowledge in the field to gripe a bit, and justifiably so. Maybe next time, he can space his rants out a bit more, or better yet, attack the younger generation of Barbie dolls — before they take over the world.

— Kaitlin Thaney can be reached at [email protected].