There are a few key phrases you really don’t want to hear in a relationship: “…so the doctor said you should go get tested, too,” “It’s not you, it’s me,” “Is it in yet?” etc.

However, no phrase can match the fear, ambiguity and disastrous consequences of: “Maybe we should take a break for a little while.”

It hits you like a brick wall being pushed by a cement truck driven by The Incredible Hulk.

At least that’s how it felt for me as I sat on my significant other’s bed several Saturdays ago. Immediately there is a sense of complete and total chaos.

“What does this mean? Are you coming back? Is this just your way of breaking up with me without actually doing it?”

Of course there were no correct answers, just more questions.

“Well, if you know you’re coming back and don’t want to break up, then why can’t you just stay? Will we still speak? How long do you need? Do you want to see other people?”

I was lucky. Of the myriad reasons one chooses to suggest a break, ranging from wanting to see other people to wanting to let someone down easily, this one seemed to be just a minor setback; less about us and more about putting lives back in order.

And though it was comforting to know the break wasn’t about something I’d done wrong, it didn’t make sense why I was being asked to suffer for it.

But therein lies the awful the truth about a break: It just doesn’t make any sense.

It’s hard to find exactly where the break began. My guess is that it was only invented to further the romantic plots of popular sitcoms. But no matter what its origin, it’s become a force to be reckoned with in relationships.

Today, the break has become the little black dress of temporary solutions to permanent problems – it simply goes with everything. The beauty of it is that it can be adapted to any situation and pulled out at any time.

The versatile nature of the break is deeply founded in the fact that it has no definitive meaning. It’s not quite a breakup, but it’s certainly not an “everything’s OK” either. It falls somewhere between, and with each case, it falls somewhere new.

While the cause of a break may seem difficult to pin down, its application is even more unclear.

During a breakup, the roles are pretty clear. The two parties go their separate ways, and while they may continue to hurt each other’s feelings (whether willingly or not), they’re under no obligation or responsibility to one another. Conversely, in a relationship there is a certain amount of dependability involved. Both people know the accountability of their actions and the effects they have on the other.

However, in a break, all rules are thrown out the window. It is not safe to assume that all bets are off, as in a breakup, and one party may still be held responsible for their actions if they hurt the other. On the other hand, neither person can expect the other to be present, affectionate, reliable or caring toward the other. It is a very gray area and, most times, is just asking for trouble.

So is there any good to a break? That depends on a lot of factors.

If you’re considering invoking a break, there are a few things to keep in mind. First and foremost, do you seriously think that there is a chance of reconciliation after this break? All too often the break is used as a precursor to the breakup and that’s unfair. If you are in a relationship, at least have the dignity to end it respectably.

If the break is something you think will be a good idea, clearly set the boundaries. Decide whether you will continue to talk to or see your significant other. Consider that while it may hurt to not see one another, it could remind you of how much you miss them. Or it could show you that life is better without them.

Though it may be an uncomfortable discussion, decide if you will see other people during this time. Defining what is and is not acceptable will prevent further drama in the future.

Most importantly, be understanding. Know that people can’t just turn their feelings on and off like a light switch. There are going to be hard times and your partner may need some affirmation and support.

For those on the receiving end of the break, be patient. If what they’re telling you is that they need some time and space, it’s probably best to just give it to them, it won’t be easy, but by applying more pressure, you may only complicate matters.

The break may be used by many as an easy escape route, but under closer inspection, it is anything but. The break can be the most difficult test for a relationship to stand and many, if not most, couples won’t make it through. But for those who do, they will be all the stronger.

Just look at Ross and Rachel.

– Contributed by a member of The News Staff