I used to like it.

I used to enjoy making profiles on Web sites. It used to be a hobby of mine to spend a bit of time each day on www.myspace.com, back when it was overpopulated with waif-like hipsters and people who like to be in the know.

Back in the day, in 2003.

But a wave of mainstream has dumped itself all over MySpace and similar Web sites in the past year, and now even the devil incarnate, Rupert Murdoch, FOX media mogul, has a hand in it.

I have found that only two types of people really inhabit the pages of MySpace. These include the ultra-indie and the ultra-empty. There are others scattered here and there, but it is impossible to look at someone’s page of friends without seeing a chick in a push-up bra or someone with a display name similar to “I

You’d think the latter would have left as soon as they found every snobby jerk they went to high school with decided to join. But of course, as much as they all claim to be unique, they all stayed and posted pictures of themselves making awkward faces and posing in bathroom mirrors. They all kept their hair teased, and included quirky facts about themselves in their profiles in an attempt to be interesting. Because, of course, that’s what indie means to 14-year-olds.

But it’s the Internet junkies who really fire me up.

I have started to believe the majority of profiles on MySpace are created identities. Somebody else lies behind the ornately decorated front page, the glamour shot of a blonde in a tight shirt, the endless sentences that discuss a love of clubbing and manicures – and that somebody is a pimply preteen from Omaha named Amanda.

In reality, how could all these beautiful girls go out and lead fascinating lives while still having the time to spend on a fancy MySpace page? And beyond that, can anyone honestly believe a 21-year-old makeup artist/model from L.A. knows HTML?

Above all else, these girls love to talk about themselves. They especially love remarking on how “real” and “deep” they are. In light of this, their boobs, hair and face aren’t authentic and they’re using pictures that have been severely retouched. The only thing deep on these females is the pile of makeup they cover themselves with.

I really enjoy looking at the profiles of underage females that put moving GIF graphics that appear to sparkle on their page. They most often use a pair of lips, the Playboy bunny logo and witty phrases such as “Girls is pimps too!” I’m sure their parents would be so proud, having a little girl who is promoting pornography, prostitution and worst of all, bad grammar.

Girls like this often feel compelled to add boring, space-filling surveys to their pages. Because everyone really cares they last kissed some guy named Kevin.

What ultimately gets me about MySpace is that girls always make smutty profiles, then claim to be wholesome and have strong morals. I guess this is true in a way, because if you’re gorgeous and you take a picture of your ass, guys probably will think you’re a saint. But actions like these are a cry for attention, and it’s pretty sad these girls need dime-a-dozen comments from guys they’ve never met to make them feel good about themselves.

MySpace is now like having a personal ad – except a thousand times more desperate. I think personal ads should be given more credit. At least the people who submit personal ads don’t include pictures of themselves in their panties. And others aren’t subjected to reading a light blue Comic Sans font.

– Chelsea Petersen is a sophomore journalism major.