By Nafisa Kabir, political columnist

Dear Nafisa,

If you’re a woman, why do you hate other women? Don’t conservatives like… not respect women? Why do you hate yourself? If you were getting paid for your response, you’d get 78 cents on the man’s dollar. You’re okay with that?

Sincerely,
Feminists Everywhere

Dear Feminists,

Boy, oh boy. (HA.)

To me, feminism once was about empowering women to take a stand and fight for what we believe in. Somewhere along the line, though, fighting the patriarchy became a form of misandry. Men are blamed for absolutely everything. Let’s talk about a fairly common line of thinking for a moment:

• * Men hating women is misogyny.
• * Men hating men is toxic masculinity (a story for another day).
• * Women hating women is internalized misogyny.
• * Women hating men is completely justified, because the patriarchy has hated women for so long.

Cue any mental image of Michael Scott looking incredulous. Toxic masculinity? Really? Come on.

The gender pay gap has been proven to be false numerous times, and yet it is still being discussed (and will again be). Let’s talk statistics. Taking into consideration the mean annual salary of men and women, you’ll notice a 22 percent difference, right? We’ve all heard this. But did you take into consideration the jobs women take versus those men take? Did you consider the hours women work? Did you consider pre- and post-pregnancy leave? Is there really a 22 percent difference in how much men and women are generally paid? No. There isn’t. “But what about Hispanic and African-American woman?” Consider the questions above again.

Furthermore, to appease angry women, the military has lowered admission standards for women fighting on the front lines. Please tell me you see something seriously wrong with that. Biologically speaking, logically speaking, speaking in general, if standards have to be lowered in order to allow someone to fight on the front lines of a war, maybe they shouldn’t be there to begin with. Food for thought.

And let’s talk about some serious victimhood for a second. “Oh, whatever will I do if I can’t take off my top to show the world what the good Lord gifted me?!” versus “Oh my heavens, we should really do something about sex slavery, and acid attacks, and the overall oppression women in third-world countries face.” Maybe that’s not the best example of victimhood, but this is better: A professor at University of Pennsylvania sent a letter to Weiss Tech House regarding a sign advertising an “elevator pitch” event that shows a headless man in a business suit. Her complaint detailed the idea that because it was a man and not a woman in the advertisement, her students would probably not feel as included and willing to go if they weren’t men.

I mean, if you’re at Wharton School of Business and you’re a female, I don’t expect you to have such a victimhood mentality, but I honestly pity the professor. What a thought process! Unfortunately, there really are ladies who would see such a sign and either become enraged or think “Wow, I wish they had put a woman on that. Maybe then I could aspire to attend.” Now, that’s the issue—not the “patriarchy.”

On top of all that, here are some things we shouldn’t be obsessing over currently:

* Gender pronouns. If I misgender you, correct me and move on. Don’t throw a fit. I didn’t know. It’s not obvious.
* #FreeTheNipple because seriously? Trends come and go, your nipples will see the light soon enough—but also, given that a female’s nipples have more sexual connotations than a man’s, why aren’t men shouting #FreeTheBalls?
* Free bleeding because honestly, blood just isn’t a thing we need to be letting out in the open all willy-nilly. I don’t understand why improper hygiene is so welcomed by feminists, really. If you’re all about saving the environment, invest in a diva cup. Save the world!
* President Donald J. Trump did not win because of the patriarchy. Just because one is a female does not mean she must vote for a female. If she votes for a male, that is not internalized misogyny. In fact, it’s just plain sexism to say a woman must vote for a woman lest she hate women.

That’s all for now! I’m going to go make myself, and my man, a sandwich, because the powerful, independent woman in me chooses to.

Love,
The Conservative in the Room

P.S. Questions, fury, heart eyes? Whatever you have, leave me a comment, send me an email or mail me a letter:

The Huntington News
ATTN: Nafisa Kabir
P.O. Box 230695
Boston, MA 02123

#FactsOnly and always, thanks for reading!

Photo courtesy Charlotte Cooper, Creative Commons