Reality TV has totally spun out of control. This can be attributed to MTV for starting up the craze with their show, “The Real World.” Now, the station, along with many other networks, have their own shows that depict “reality.” There is “Who’s Joe Schmo,” the story about the poor man who thinks he is going through this unique experience and making friends only to find himself on a staged reality series. Then there is “The Bachelor,” the story of women going on a show to find their true love, and a million dollars. With all these shows and a host of others, MTV is winning hands down. The reason, you ask? One word: Newlyweds.

Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey are the quintessential pop couple. She’s beautiful, he’s handsome and they live in a mansion on top of the Hollywood Hills. Oh, marital bliss.

Well, all I can do is feel bad for Nick. He is married to a certified idiot. The poor thing doesn’t know whether she’s eating chicken or tuna and she’s just recently learned that buffalo wings actually do not come from buffalo. Then she did the unforgivable, something that I think warrants divorce. She spent $750 on two bras and a set of panties. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this woman knows a bargain when she sees one. What was even funnier was the fact that she had the nerve to call her husband after leaving the store and whine to him about it. When he told her to take it back she said she couldn’t and proceeded to explain how taken aback she was that the lingerie cost so much. Had she gone temporarily blind for the moment? Were the bra and panties so beautiful that it blurred her vision and she was unable to focus her eyes on the price tag? Obviously these two can afford to spend a little better than the rest of us, but they’re no Britney and Justin.

One may think this is just cause for two people to live with each other before saying “I do.” However, Jessica can’t possibly be completely to blame, Nick had to have some inkling as to what he was getting himself into. There had to be one family member who saw that there was no light at the end of Jessica’s tunnel. No, just darkness. Granted, she is an attractive woman with a good body and she had the whole purity thing going for her. I have to ask, did Nick really want to have sex with her that bad? Bad enough that he would subject himself to this kind of torture?

Obviously they edit the shows to make her come off a little more annoying than she probably is, but the only thing the two seem to have in common is music.

He’s humble, she’s spoiled; he’s hard-working, she wants to hire a maid to walk behind her and clean up after her.

This case of opposites attracting hasn’t convinced me one bit. I’m placing my bet against the couple. I give the pair three years tops.

— Camila Crews can be reached at [email protected]