This could be the beginning of the end. No, I’m not talking about election results, even that is trivial compared to the matter at hand.

Folks, Pee-wee Herman may be making a comeback.

Gasp.

Better yet, this news made The New York Times.

OK, so I added a teensy bit of figurative language to heighten the dramatic effect of it all, but when I saw this, I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, clap my hands in jubilation or duck under my desk and wait for the explosion.

Pee-wee Herman? You have to be kidding me. The article in the Times, for those that don’t search for these things, said the Hermanator, Paul Reubens, is preparing for the DVD release of his 1980s brainchild and Saturday morning wake-up call “Pee-wee’s Playhouse.”

I wouldn’t lie about it. This is rather exciting. Pee-wee was a cultural icon, falling into the same idolic persona as Captain Kangaroo, Sharon, Lois and Bram, Bozo the Clown and Ernest. (Ah, remember those days?)

But after letting it sink in as I scrolled down the article, it dawned on me — does anyone still remember who “Pee-wee” is?

After years of impersonations, Halloween costumes consisting of that tight gray suit with flood pants and white shoes and the sheer delight every time the USA network would show “Pee-wee’s Big Adventure,” the legend of Pee-wee and that distinct laugh of his started to fade.

Actually, it was wiped from the memories of that entire generation. Not necessarily because of the 13-year lull for Reubens as Pee-wee, though.

I wouldn’t blame the character’s downfall on that. Maybe the infamous mug shot of Reubens when he was caught allegedly masturbating in the movie theater is to blame?

We all remember that incident enough to keep me from going into further detail. Or more recently, when certain “not-so-kid-friendly” movies and pictures were found in his home, setting off a huge neon sign for producers of children’s television around the world — this ex-“icon” is washed up.

But, as the Times article states, not only is the 52-year-old fighting his “has been” status, he’s doing it with a certain fervor.

Set to release all of the episodes on DVD, Reubens is trying to rekindle his legacy as “Pee-wee,” after the turns-for-the-worst in his off-screen career by bringing back his Saturday morning fame.

I mean, come on now, who would want to put one of these episodes on for their 7-year-old nowadays and then have to explain Reubens’ track record?

“Daddy, didn’t I see a picture of him on America’s Most Wanted?” the little 7-year-old says, while avidly watching the old re-runs, sipping Tang and eating animal crackers.

“No, no, no, Billy,” the father nervously retorts. “That was a very, very bad man that just so happens to LOOK like Pee-wee. His name’s Paul.”

There, all cleared up. Hardly. So children of today may not be the target audience for this, that could be a bit hairy. I guess it’s for those same people that have “Married With Children” and “Alf” Seasons one, two and … wait, did they have more than two seasons?

But what gave me more than a chuckle as I read further down in the article was that Reubens is working on not one (God knows that wouldn’t be enough) but TWO new screenplays to continue the Pee-wee cinema madness that ended in 1985. Oh, excuse me, there was indeed a 1988 “Big Top Pee-wee.” Shame on me for leaving that one out.

Are you serious?

Let’s have a man that is now credited with his pornographic habits come back as a 52-year-old after a 13-year Pee-wee hiatus to not only try to reinvent himself, but sell this to his “target audience” (in more ways than one) — children?

Genius, pure genius. Someone must be losing his mind other than Reubens himself. How about, his publicist? Now, I know that due to state of the art beauty enhancements and top of the line makeup artists and plastic surgeons have even made the likes of Roseanne become a sizetwo, but how in the hell are you going to pull this one off? It’s like a science experiment, really. First, we’d have to give Reubens back the physical stamina and looks needed to pull this one off. So, get a tight gray suit, white shoes, a red bow tie and slicked dark hair. Check.

Now, for all of the other things needed to actually fool the American public, we need talent and a way to remove creepy criminal tendencies that have kept Reubens in the spotlight for the last few years — the police spotlight that is.

Will this work? Who knows. It’s a mystery whether or not anyone will even pick up the pitch for the films or if the DVDs will sell. Maybe he’s just trying to re-establish a character that one time made him a television phenomenon.

Or, better yet, he’s just having a mid-life crisis.

— Kaitlin Thaney can be reached at [email protected]