By Hailey Heinz

Consult any book or magazine on relationships, and it will have some theory on how communication is key. For juniors Rob Christian and Maryann DiLuglio, however, communication has a whole new layer of complexity.

Christian is deaf. He doesn’t have total hearing loss, but uses hearing aids and reads lips to understand conversation. With his hearing aids in, he can hear the sounds of speech, particularly the lower ranges, and uses lip reading to determine individual words.

DiLuglio’s major is American sign language (ASL)/English interpreting and she met Christian through the deaf club on campus. As an interpreting major, DiLuglio was somewhat familiar with deaf culture, which made it easier for her to relate to Christian.

“I got used to deaf culture, which is a very direct culture,” DiLuglio said.

Deaf culture doesn’t have a lot of the “small talk” elements of hearing culture, which, she said, could be difficult to understand for someone unaccustomed to it. The cultural differences were also eased by the fact that Christian grew up in a hearing family.

“I’ve taken in a lot of deaf culture, but it’s not my native culture,” Christian said.

Although deaf culture may be lacking in “small talk,” Christian and DiLuglio explained there’s no lack of romance.

DiLuglio said when she and Christian first started “courting” as he called it, he showed up at her door with a dozen multi-colored roses, before she even really knew him. That was last November. Recently, DiLuglio moved into her own apartment, and bought her first real vase. Before long, Christian showed up with some flowers to fill the vase — the same multi-colored arrangement he had brought her almost a year before.

To see them interact, it isn’t immediately obvious that Christian, a business major, is deaf. He prefers to speak, rather than use ASL. He is more accustomed to English than to signing, and usually only signs when he is communicating with another deaf person. DiLuglio communicates with him through ASL, which gives her an opportunity to practice.

Although Christian’s deafness creates some unique communication struggles, DiLuglio said the difficulties are the same ones that hearing couples have, but in unique forms. For example, DiLuglio said Chris-tian sometimes uses his deafness as an excuse to ignore her.

“Sometimes I think he has selective hearing,” she said. “All men do that, and it’s the same here.”

Christian doesn’t deny this.

“It’s just extremely easy for me not to listen,” he said. “All my life, I’ve been able to use my deafness as an excuse to miss information.”

DiLuglio said for her, this is the most difficult thing about the relationship.

“If he doesn’t feel like communicating, he’ll take out his hearing aids or close his eyes,” she said.

However, this scenario is just a variation on a universal problem.

“A hearing person would just walk out of the room,” she said.

Along with the age-old communication issues come new-age ones. In an era increasingly dominated by cell phones and communication on the go, Christian and DiLuglio find ways to communicate without face to face contact. DiLuglio has a device called a T-Mobile Sidekick, which is a cell phone, but can also be used for e-mail and instant messages.

Christian can call DiLuglio and talk to her over the phone, and she can respond either through text message or e-mail. Christian has a pager that vibrates whenever he receives an e-mail, and he plans to get a Sidekick soon.

There are also unexpected benefits to their unique situation. DiLuglio said if they are in the midst of hearing people, they can strike up a private conversation in sign language.

“It’s a secret plus,” she said.