Is Northeastern cursed?
I kept hearing people say it, often as a half-joke, but over and over. And then, there it was in the Boston Globe, the quote from an NU student: “I’m starting to believe that Northeastern is cursed.” That’s a strong and scary thing to say, a horrifying thing if you think about it. And yet I understand it now. Being new here at NU, I’ve been doing my best this past month to meet and talk to lots of people from all around the campus.
Several times I’ve heard this same expression, “Sometimes I think this place is cursed,” and I’ve nodded and thought to myself, “what does that mean?” But when I saw those same words staring out from the Globe on Saturday, I realized I’ve been here long enough for them to hit me personally this time.
The dictionary offers a definition of a curse as “a prayer asking that a god or similar spirit brings misfortune to someone.” I think we are not cursed, my own theology and faith in a loving God precludes that notion.
But let’s try a synonym. As a community we now, without doubt, feel afflicted with pain and suffering. Let us just admit aloud the elephant in the living room. This year we have suffered the death of six students among us, we have suffered the loss of family members and loved ones of students, suffered illness and severe injury among students and suffered a communal soul-searching over the post-Super Bowl events. Every death, every injury, every dig by the Boston press, creates a ripple effect. “No man is an island,” and the pain of any one of us moves out in sad ripples to touch students, faculty, staff, family, friends, lovers, classmates, roommates and, eventually, the whole Northeastern community. This doesn’t mean that we’ve done evil, that a supernatural cause is bringing this misfortune down on us for our transgressions, that we are being punished. I don’t know what to say it means, except that life is happening, and life can be unbearably hard and seem unbearably unfair and chaotic at times.
Most of us have probably heard about the stages of grief: denial/isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. I think, as a grieving community, we’re all over the place right now. With each death, we again start swimming through the stages of our grief, and finally it feels that there’s no time to take a deep breath before the next wave comes. And yet the world continues; our classes, jobs and social lives all continue as if nothing is happening.
But something is happening. For many of us, this may be the first time we’ve lost a friend or loved one. It may be the first time we’ve ever looked in the face of our own mortality. How can life possibly be business as usual? And yet we still have papers to write, tests to grade, meetings to get to.
But life at Northeastern right now is NOT business as usual. Yes, our work continues, but our work now includes facing the recognition of our suffering. As hard as it is, we have to listen to the pain, feel the pain, allow its lessons slowly to sink into our hearts. The pain can teach us patience, compassion and, eventually, new joy in the gift of life that we each guard for our stay on this earth. Those of us who feel drawn to the spiritual life may find that our suffering brings us closer to a transcendent reality. But the learning and the healing take time. Our pain right now is very real, we need to acknowledge it and share it with one another.
What can we do? We can name our dead, we can openly celebrate their lives and openly mourn their deaths. We can talk to one another, check in with one another, support one another through these bad times in the same way that we do through the good. Northeastern is a community, we have to know that we are here for one another. If you are hurting, cry. If you need to talk, talk. If you need help, get help. Find a friend, a professor, a counselor (ext. 2142), a chaplain (ext. 2728). Call home. If someone you know is having physical or mental trouble, get emergency help for them. If someone you know has suffered a loss, be present for them. If someone is suffering, comfort them. If someone needs company, sit with them. If someone is withdrawing into their shell, help to pull them back out. Here is the good news: even in tragedy, all of us at Northeastern can be here for one another; even at its worst, the pain is not bigger than we are. Peace.
— Shelli Jankowski-Smith is the Director of Spiritual Life at Northeastern.
