We could have a serious campus-wide medical emergency on our hands. It could be worse than the Hepatitis-enriched food that plagued Boston last fall and involve more people than The Facebook. What we have on our hands could be the most widespread case of frostbite this city has ever seen, and it’s all due to wishful thinking.

I can’t say this is the first time I’ve been privy to such a phenomenon. I grew up in what some friends call “the tundra” where there are only two seasons: winter and construction. I’ve always found a way to call “home” a place where it’s sweater-season 80 percent of the time. So this “wishful thinking” is not new, but it still amazes me each and every time.

All around campus, and in the Greater Boston area more or less, people are coming out of the winter woodwork, already sporting flip-flops, open-toed shoes, shorts and even tank tops in the midst of a heatwave for the books – a whopping 40 degrees.

Simply stunning, I must say. Capris when snow is still on the horizon, open-toed shoes when there are still piles of residual “snow” (better described as pseudo-blocks of rock) and bare arms when the sun isn’t even out for 12 hours.

It happens every year. People of all ages share the same belief that if they wear it, it will come … warmer temperatures, that is. The second the sun is out and it’s just warm enough that you can’t see your breath, people are playing wiffleball, wearing frilly mini-skirts and strutting around the city as skimpily clad as possible. What’s even better is that I’m sure the three layers of goosebumps on their skin make them aware of the borderline winter weather, but time and time again, they choose to act against that instinct and push on nonetheless.

It’s certainly fascinating to watch each year. It starts with that bold soul who sports the thong flip-flops while still wearing two pairs of pants, long underwear, three shirts, a hooded sweatshirt, gloves, mittens, a hat, earmuffs and tops it off with a marshmallow coat from North Face. Based on my studies, pre-40 degrees there are usually approximately five people who sport this lunacy — I mean “look” — failing to count those who never STOP wearing flip-flops.

And people wonder why come March and April everyone and their Aunt Fran gets sick. Honestly, let’s ponder the subject.

Fully aware that worrying about the likelihood of hypothermia of the student body shows my maternal side, I stand by it. It’s crazy, absolutely unnecessary and just asking for health problems.

This is the reasoning behind my prediction that Lane Health Center will be inundated with cases of frostbite in the coming weeks. People will pay for their wishful thinking, and when sandal season finally arrives, students will be forced to wear sneakers to let their frozen digits heal … adding so much more irony to the situation.

There are many things in this city that escape the limits of reasoning. These include carrying umbrellas when it’s snowing (my favorite on the list), calling a liquor store a “packie” and the burning desire to flip cars. I understand that people want it to be warm; trust me, I’m not Jack Frost here, but use some common sense. Tank tops in April?

Last week there were even some kids vainly trying to sunbathe in the quad. I kid you not, they were trying to sunbathe in 47-degree weather. Like they think lying out for an hour in Krentzman when there’s a wind chill is as efficient as sitting on a beach in the Dominican Republic for the day.

Maybe there’s something in the water that’s causing these people to lose their minds. There has to be some sort of explanation that I just don’t have access to. Maybe it’s Spring Break that sends people off their rockers. They go away to tropical locations galore for a week, come back and try to transform New England into San Juan.

Personally, I’d rather wait for the temperature to climb just a tad higher before exposing my Irish “tan,” or lack thereof … at least I’ll be healthier in the end.

– Kaitlin Thaney can be reached at [email protected]