By Bianca Strzelczyk

Northeastern students ex-perienced an hour and a half of incredible sex last Wednesday night at a performance by comedian and self-proclaimed “Sex-pert,” Maria Falzone.

The event was hosted by the Council for University Programs (CUP) as part of Welcome Week. CUP lecture chair Ryan Stanton, a senior business management and entrepreneurship major, cho-se the controversial comic as opposed to the traditional Welcome Week hypnotist after seeing one of her performances at a National Association for Campus Activities conference last fall in Hartford, Conn.

“This is more educational than a hypnotist,” Stanton said. “It’s a fun way to get the students together to get to know each other.”

Falzone was once considered “offensive” at Dart-mouth College by what she described as an “ultra right winged conservative” cro-wd, Stanton said he was not concerned with backlash at Northeastern because it is such a liberal school.

Falzone began the evening in Blackman Auditorium by proclaiming, “I have incredible sex.”

She continued by sharing her sexual backround and outlining her own rules about getting it on.

“I’m the biggest fan of masturbation,” said Falzone, as she described her first rule of sex: “Know yourself.”

She also shared a story about masturbating on the Massachusetts Turnpike, thanks to cruise control.

The laughter took a brief pause when Falzone discussed rape and sexually transmitted diseases, as part of her second rule “never have sex [on] alcohol or drugs.”

She drew on her own experience of eight years of unsafe and unpleasurable drunken sex, which eventually led to her contracting herpes, to emphasize the consequences of combining sex and alcohol.

After choosing a volunteer from the audience and attempting to have him emulate the act of swimming without using wo-rds, Falzone illustrated the need for communication, the basis of her third rule.

During the segment she paused to address a common problem of university living.

“Never have sex with your roommate in the bed next to you,” she said.

Before closing out the evening, Falzone add-ressed one of sex’s most basic rules: use protection. To dispel the myth that a condom could be too small, she had one audience member fit a condom over another’s head.

“The part with the condom on the head was funny,” said Garrett Laz-yan, a freshman business major.

As her finale, Falzone invited the audience to engage in “Group Sex,” by having participants yell out body parts from toes to face. The auditorium then erupted in a group orgasm.

After the show, students lingered in the auditorium to retrieve free condoms and ask one-on-one questions with Falzone.