Walking into a house in Southern California, about eight girls sit down on an overstuffed couch drinking cocktails and snacking on chips and chocolates. Within minutes, a woman comes in with some Tupperware bins and starts setting up shop for a demonstration. What seems like it could be a Tupperware or Pampered Chef Party, soon unfurls into a new trend: sex demonstration parties.
When the women look down at the chocolates they are eating, they’re shaped like penises — so are the ice cubes in their drinks.
The host, Diana Gaines, 22, of Brentwood, Calif., has been planning this party for weeks. She had attended another party and decided to host one of her own, she said.
“At the parties you learn that ‘personal time’ is OK,” said the junior replenishment analyst for MGM Studios, Inc. “You hear about stuff you didn’t know that was available to you before — I think it’s a good idea.”
The “pleasure consultant,” Tanya M.S. Finks, places lubricant, lingerie and vibrators on a card table to demonstrate to potential customers how they can learn to pleasure themselves and their partners.
The company that organizes parties like this is called Pleasure Faire. Director Kristen Youngquist said the company is in its 25th year and is “the oldest party company of its kind.”
She said the owner of the company, Judy Levy, used to be a grade school teacher, and after spending some time in Europe said she noticed Europeans are more open with their sexuality.
“[Levy] knew she wanted to do this,” Youngquist said. “It’s not about selling, it’s about educating woman about our own sexuality, and educating men now, too. We’re doing more co-ed parties.”
There is no charge to host a party, and Youngquist said the date is booked a month in advance. The host is sent a party pack with invitations, a catalogue and order forms. The pleasure consultant gets in touch with the host in advance to give last-minute suggestions on how to throw a good party, she said.
The structure of Gaines’ party revolved around a pleasure quiz. The questions corresponded with the products about to be demonstrated, Youngquist said. Participants get points for every question that applies to them. For example, if the guest has had trouble orgasming during oral sex, mark down points.
“It’s kind of like foreplay,” Youngquist said.
After the party, the guests are taken to a private area to begin ordering, Youngquist said. At Gaines’ party, the guests spent about $600, she said, but the average is about $800 to $900. Because she was the host of the party, Gaines received a gift certificate based on how much her guests spent. She put her $20 gift certificate toward her own purchases of the night.
Between the two parties, Gaines has spent about $150 on products for herself.
In Boston, Nina Baltierra, a sophomore communications major, has been to two parties — one held in West Village A.
“I went for the comedy of it all,” Baltierra said.
She said at first she didn’t really understand the premise of the party, but that it had to do with sex toys. After a few people explained, she decided to attend.
Unlike Gaines’ party, the parties Baltierra attended were co-ed. She said pretty much everyone knew each other so it wasn’t too uncomfortable.
“A [male] friend of mine put on the vibrating panties. It was so funny,” Baltierra said. “Even if you don’t want to buy anything it’s just a really fun experience.”
Lisa Van De Leygraaf, independent consultant and executive director for Passion Parties, said the parties are meant to be “fun, tasteful and educational.”
Van De Leygraaf said the most common parties she consults are bachelorette parties.
“Basically you get a group of girls together to have a girls’ night, something different compared to a Tupperware Party or a Pampered Chef Party or a Mary Kay Party,” the two-year veteran consultant said.
Before becoming a consultant, she was a dental assistant studying to become a hygienist. Now, being a consultant has become a full-time job for her.
Although Van De Leygraaf lives and works in Wisconsin, she’s employed by Passion Parties, based out of Brisbane, Calif. The 11-year-old company employs about 7,000 consultants nationwide and in Canada. Under her executive director title, she manages 69 consultants all over the country.
Passion Parties will soon be relocating to Las Vegas because they have outgrown their California offices, she said.
She said the parties are meant to be educational and sometimes they can even mend a broken relationship. Some of the most rewarding experiences she has had are when a couple calls her to say the spark has returned to their failing marriage.
“It definitely has helped people’s relationships by bringing products into their lives,” she said. “People have called up and said they are no longer getting a divorce.”
