hey guys i know this isnt a letter to the editor but i figured maybe you could pass this off to the right place. i wanted to submit a sexcapade story. thanks!

ok so let me start by first setting up the scene…i live in a double, with two people, hence the word double. my bed is on one side of the room, and my roomate’s is on the adjacent wall. due to an excess amount of couch and lack of couch space in the living room, we decided to loft his bed high enough to fit our extra couch underneath it. now there are many ways to loft a bed, and probably many safe ways at that, but since we are highly intellectual college students, the best thing we could come up with was to rise the bed atop cinder blocks, rotated vertically. damn! the couch didnt fit with room for us to sit, we needed to go higher. ok so lets just add about 6 more inches of wood blocking on top of the cinder blocks. perfect fit. and there you have it people, a perfectly lofted dorm room bed sitting on cinder blocks and 6 inch square wood blocks. safe right? sure…i mean, we gave it the “shake it as hard as you can test” simulating intense sleeping behavioral situations such as reoccuring nightmares and or getting attacked in your sleep, as well as proving that earthquakes and or construction wont shake it off of the risers. and of course there was the ultimate question, “when i have sex, will this method of lofting the bed prove hazardous when me and my lucky winner for the evening go crashing five feet to the floor waking up the entire apartment and all of those that reside below me, not to mention, i dont want to die…” eh, no worries, it passed the test. we both figured it would fall, but we both didn’t think it actually would fall. so with that said…on to the good part. it had been about nine months and there were no problems. a little misallignment needed to be tweaked every so often, but it was pretty damn sturdy. so one morning, oh about 9:47 am to be precise, i was up and out of bed and in the living room chugging glasses upon glasses of water to rehydrate my hungover state of being. i proceeded to sit on the couch, stare out the window, drink some more water, turn on the tv, adjust myself, etc. no more than thirty minutes later i hear an insanely loud crash. it sounded like the roof had caved in. it sounded like a bomb went off down the hall. i remember thinking, oh my god, i hope nobody died. so i got up, walked down the hall, looked into my room and sure enough, there they were, a naked man, a naked woman, and a broken bed. in the words of my roomate, “well, it finally happened…guess its time for breakfast.”