When relationships crack, we all have our own remedies – ways to pick up the pieces. A hot cup of green tea and a Sylvia Plath novel. A club night (or two) with friends. Screenings of Julia Roberts flicks to remind us that love still exists, even if it’s just in cinematic form. And, for some, a week’s worth of Zoloft.
I, however, turn to Kelly Clarkson.
No one shouted the lyrics to “Since U Been Gone” louder, and with more vigor, than I did the afternoon we stopped seeing each other. When the drums kicked in and the bridge reached – “You had your chance, you blew it/Out of sight, out of mind,” – the break-up anthem transcended mere music. As Clarkson kissed off her ex-beau, I kissed off mine.
And Clarkson wasn’t my only savior.
As I scrolled through my iPod, I was reunited with old friends that matched my range of emotions. When I wanted to feel “Stronger,” I enlisted the help of Kanye West. Though the tune is decades old, the Jackson 5’s “I Want You Back” never failed to revive my sense of hope. When I felt particularly confident, Rilo Kiley’s “Breakin’ Up” was on constant repeat, because damn, it did “feel good to be free.” And when I was a mess, (which was most of the time), Damien Rice, Bright Eyes and Ryan Adams reminded me that heartache is universal.
My form of musical therapy continues today. From Maroon 5 to Wilco to Jay-Z, music both lifts my spirits and grounds me. I’m not picky, either. I relish in the latest Top 40 radio hits, under-the-radar indie fare and old school soul and R’B, equally. It shouldn’t surprise me. For years, music has provided an outlet during times trying or not. It’s the moments you share with your favorite artist, song or record that you won’t forget.
I don’t remember where we shared our first kiss, but I remember what song was playing in the background.
Through laughter and tears, it’s music that can leave behind the biggest imprint on your heart. Beyond just sonic production and written words, music makes a statement you sometimes can’t articulate on your own.
It’s said that “breaking up is hard to do,” and for many, it’s an arduous, painful road filled more with potholes than smooth exits. There aren’t any easy answers for how to feel. And most times, the journey raises more questions at each turn.
As I navigate my way through this difficult break-up, I know musicians will never replace human connections. My headphones won’t offer jabs of, “He’s a douche, forget about him,” coupled with a warm hug. But music can complement the best of what you see in your friends. And often, music can even bring out the best in you.
You just have to give Clarkson, and others, the chance to do so.
– Contributed by a News staff writer.
