Make way for the wimpy. The second annual Wimpy Body Contest, sponsored by Hammered, was held Monday night at the Curry Student Center.
The quirky male pageant brought a night of laughter, fun and, of course, the new champion of wimpy-ness, Mike Pieper. Free refreshments of twinkies, devil dogs and cupcakes with bottles of juice were provided, along with paper signs that were placed on seats for audience members to wave in the air at their fellow wimpy classmates. The signs read phrases such as, “Come home with me!” “Hot!” and “That is so wimpy!”
The event brought about a full crowd of people who were there for entertainment and also to support friends. Marissa McQueeney, a freshman international affairs major, said she was there to see “skinny dudes with no muscle mass.”
Host Myke Doyle introduced the Wimpy Body Class of 2003 who were escorted by Northeastern’s own cheerleaders. The 11 contestants, including two returning contestants, Zak Kahn and Colin Quinn, were geared up for the friendly competition. The contest was divided into three different categories: the talent and flexing category, in which the contestants went out on stage shirtless in order to show off exactly how wimpy they were, the Bucket O’ Mystery Challenge, where each contestant had to pick out a challenge to perform from a bucket, and the talent competition.
The talent portion of the show varied from a belly-rolling act by Zack Allia, who drew ocean waves on his stomach for a full effect, to guzzling Diet Coke by Zak Kahn to Mike Pieper’s contortionist act in which he stretched his legs behind his neck. The audience whistled and hollered as Pieper twirled around on his back.
One act that riled up the audience was contestant number eight, a homeless bum named Merle, played by Nathan Barnette. Barnette’s act consisted of heating up a sandwich in the back of his pants. He proceeded to eat the sandwich which was supposed to be his feces. Barnette generated great amounts of laughter from the audience, including his stunt in the Bucket O’ Mystery challenge, in which he was challenged to put on as many T-shirts as possible in 30 seconds. When Doyle handed him the T-shirts, Barnette darted off of the stage and ran out the door.
Pieper’s challenge from the Bucket O’ Mystery was to use his best pick up line on a girl chosen from the audience. His first two attempts were overwhelmed with laughter until finally he came through. Wearing an oversized leather jacket, he opened it up and said to the girl, “This jacket is big enough for the both of us, baby.”
Other challenges from the bucket included seeing how many grapes could fit in a contestant’s mouth (15 grapes fit in the winner’s mouth), making out with a laminate for 10 seconds and searching for Doyle, who hid amongst the audience members, while blindfolded.
Before announcing the winner, Doyle felt it was necessary to answer the question, whatever happened to last year’s winner, Josh Breckman? A film was then shown of Doyle reporting on the story of Breckman’s victory. It was a humorous fictional report that included interviews with Breckman and other students that poked fun at the typical “from fame to no-name” stories.
The night concluded with an appearance by Breckman as he crowned 2003’s Wimpy Body Champion, Michael Pieper. Second runner up was Zack Allia and second place was none other than Merle (Barnette).
“It was awesome. The people were so nice,” Pieper said about his experience.
Each contestant walked away with a weight set to provide them with the proper equipment to buff up.