All of the press on the Democratic candidacies frankly is starting to make my head hurt. In the beginning, actual points seemed to be made, sentences were actually making sense without pretzels in the way and the squabbles between candidates weren’t as childish as some have been in the past. I actually had hope in the stamina and poise of these presidential hopefuls in ridding the White House once and for all of the Bush “legacy.” Oh, I’m starting to gag.

Now, as soon as I turn on the television all I see are endorsements and a myriad of advertisements for Kerry, Dean, Clark, etc. OK, that was to be expected. The jabs at George Dubya? Those were also understandable, especially in liberal-land, Massachusetts.

What has started to confuse me, though, is the fact that it seems like their pokes at Bush, and believe me, they are extremely prevalent, are getting more childish, as if they can’t, between the whole lot of them, come up with some good slammers.

Even though I was raised in a house where “If it’s not Republican, leave it outside” was the attitude, you can’t help but to catch on to the anti-Bush atmosphere of this city. Seeing Bush on screen, whether on ABC, MSNBC or CNN makes eyes roll and sparks a crowd of Bush impressions, from the faces he makes when asked an uncomfortable question to his infamous “word mix-ups,” leaving those watching wondering if Big Bird could do a better job in office.

At first, I honestly tried to follow the competition. Between Kerry, Dean and Clark I thought that there was a sincere chance that Bush could be voted off his high-horse and go to his father’s beachhouse for a good long time. Now, with the cheesy advertisements and speeches that seem to just be repeating other candidates’ points, I’m losing hope and starting to think that in a show-down even Dubya would be able to come out on top.

I know, I never thought that I would be saying that.

I guess I’m still waiting for some revelation, something that can refuel my hope in this country that we can consciously vote with our heads instead of other unknown things. Give me back my faith in this country and show me what a true “President” can be, rather than a pop-icon. But, as much as Bush was viewed as a “celebrity” rather than a presidential candidate in his campaign, Kerry and Clark seem to be heading along that same path.

Maybe I’m looking at these candidates too critically. Maybe I’m just trying to make a rational decision as to who to actually invest time in and support.

I mean, if Madonna believes in Wesley Clark, the whole world should, now don’t you think? Her albums are doing so well nowadays that she has to be the ultimate hub of infinite knowledge on current politics. She swung my vote.

There have been so many strikes assigned to various candidates for their attempts at criticism without overstepping any bounds that it almost seems to have become a vicious game of “tag.” What’s next? Assigning time-outs to these adult candidates? Maybe Clark putting gum in Dean’s hair would solve some problems and help him rise in the polls. Maybe … not.

I’m just getting sick of the race and it hasn’t even really started yet. Maybe I’m the only one of the lot to be confused as to who to support when all of the candidates seem to just need a nap and a warm bottle. Who knows what kind of advertisements we have in store for the future, when the race really begins to become cut-throat.

It’s anyone’s guess what surprises are in store for tomorrow. Ugh, maybe I just need to find a pop-up blocker for television.

— Kaitlin Thaney is a sophomore journalism major and a member of The News staff.