On Tuesday, March 8, I attended “It Gets Better:  A Night with Dan Savage” at Blackman Auditorium on Northeastern’s campus. Savage described the It Gets Better project and its creation; he got the idea from a commenter on his blog (Slog) for the Seattle-based newspaper, The Stranger. The blog post was about a recent gay teen suicide and the commenter wished there was a way to persuade this teen it gets better. Savage and his husband recorded their story and uploaded it to YouTube. He promoted the project on Slog and videos poured in. The project was an enormous success.

I found this moving and saw him as a person to look up to in my life, as I want to get married and be a positive role model for the gay community and gay youth, as Savage seemed to be.

Unfortunately, he drifted into his reasoning for the suicides. He blamed the “Religious Right,” and equated slavery with LGBTQ prejudice. When the Bible is mentioned, all bets are off. Everyone has a different interpretation of the “Word of God” which leads to an endless debate, straying from the important issues of teen suicide and civil rights. Savage believes the Bible can be described as pro-slavery because Jesus never argued otherwise. Instead of pointing out humanity’s errors, Jesus preached love (a Biblical pro-homosexuality argument). The Bible – written by men, not God – adapts over time. We realized slavery is wrong and abolished it. I believe the same will be true for prejudice toward individuals based on sexuality.

Humanity will always have problems; it makes us human. I don’t have the solution, but eliminating religion or the Bible, as insinuated by Savage, isn’t the answer. Religion has a positive influence in many lives, including mine:  I’m a gay Catholic and I make it work.

I don’t believe the most powerful leaders in our country are scheming against homosexuality. I do believe our society is intolerant of people who are “different.” This is the source of hate expressed toward homosexuals and bullying in general. While the Religious Right is not helping our cause, the majority of Americans are straight Christians. Without their help, we won’t obtain full equality. It is vital to our cause not to anger this large demographic with vague and tiresome arguments against Christianity, which preaches love at its core.

During the Q&A portion, a black, middle-aged lesbian claimed things didn’t get better for her – she got stronger. Savage brushed this off, saying “I got stronger” is the Bronx black/Latino way of saying “it gets better.” She went on to say she got stronger after being tormented by her culture, a concept Savage evidently couldn’t understand. Savage stereotyped her because she is “different” than him. He failed to recognize their similarities and instead mocked and belittled her background.

Next, a female Northeastern student, self-described as a straight education major, asked how to create a safe haven for future students. Savage retorted, “You mean what should straight people do?” She emphasized that it was a sexual-orientation independent question. He replied, “Straight people should leave gays alone.” Savage missed an opportunity to advise an enthusiastic ally. He could have advocated for educators to create safe spaces for students.

And then his presentation ended. I left the talk feeling hurt, angry, disappointed and personally victimized by Dan Savage (hello, Mean Girls). I was most upset by his alienation of demographics – straight people, Christians, and people of color. Savage and I are of the same demographic – white, male, gay, liberal, raised Catholic – yet he managed to personally offend me. How can he expect to not offend people vastly different than him? This attitude won’t bring positive changes for LGBTQ individuals.

We need to be united by common goals, not divided by insignificant differences. The LGBTQ community transcends demographics. We’re black, white, Latino, Asian, Muslim, Christian, Atheist, Jewish, deaf, democrats, republicans, engineers, students, lawyers, writers, athletes, performers, parents, children, brothers, sisters and lovers. We represent an ideal community of acceptance. This is our greatest strength. When the majority of the population realizes we are normal people living our lives, it will get better for us all. I wish Savage talked more about these things, our strength through uniqueness, and less about his paranoia about the right.

I fully support the It Gets Better program, but wish it was created by a more open-minded and tolerant individual.

– James Rooney is a middler
electrical engineering major.