A roaring crowd of onlookers watched Sept. 28 as 16 contestants competed for the coveted title of Lettuce Club president — by eating a head of lettuce as fast as possible. The ambitious competitors lined up in the Snell Library Quad with heads of iceberg lettuce and dreams of holding the Lettuce Club trophy.
After a tense match of chewing and swallowing, third-year civil engineering major Evan Eyler emerged victorious, finishing his head of lettuce in three minutes and 52 seconds. Eyler cited an unorthodox but effective strategy for his win, which he had been planning for the entire year.
“Last year, when I saw the former champion was just able to chew a lot faster than I could — mastication seems to be my major issue when it comes to lettuce consumption,” Eyler said. “So I discovered that I’m rather better at consuming liquids, and so the best strategy would then be to liquify the lettuce, as lettuce is a large percentage water.”
Eyler achieved his victory by placing his head of lettuce in a plastic bag and crushing it under his feet, and topping the impromptu smoothie with lots of dressing.
Coming in second was Andrea Gutierrez, a third-year business administration and psychology combined major, and Dennis Tang, a fourth-year business administration major with concentrations in accounting and finance. Gutierrez, a first-time competitor, stunned onlookers with her upset into second place.
“We were all joking about watching Lettuce Club, and I was like, ‘You know what? It’s time. I’m gonna join Lettuce Club,’” Gutierrez said before the match. “Because I’ve known about it since my first year here, and I was like ‘Yeah, that seems crazy,’ but this is the year.”
Former champion and club president Oscar Wilmerding competed to defend his respected title, but unfortunately fell behind the competition. Still, Wilmerding, a third-year mechanical engineering major, was happy to see the mantle passed on to a worthy successor.
“Crush and shove,” said Wilmerding of his strategy. “Compact it down, and then swallow it. If it doesn’t hurt to eat the lettuce, you’re not going fast enough.”
Although this traditional strategy was employed by many competitors, Eyler’s radical but effective strategy may see much more use come next year.
“I’ll be coming back,” Eyler said. “I’m assuming there’s gonna be some more people next year trying to copy the strategy, so I’ll be back with some more tricks. I want to see if I can get it on a bigger stage.”
Among the fierce competition, the contenders did encourage sportsmanship. At the end of the day, eating an entire head of lettuce as fast as possible is a noble venture, one that should never be tainted by underhanded strategies. Despite the runners-ups’ disappointment, they were glad to welcome a new president to Lettuce Club.
“I’m enjoying the glory that comes with the character development of trying to eat a head of lettuce,” Gutierrez said.
