Most of us at Northeastern are in our twenties, yet we are still fascinated with Halloween – but for all the wrong reasons. It’s not that dressing up as firefighters, cowboys, Indians and superheroes is obsolete. It’s just now, these supposed costumes come with a disclaimer: you must be an “adult” version once you hit a certain age. And that doesn’t mean “more mature,” like you would assume, or that you’re aspiring to be one of these things in your everyday life. It simply means that your costume consists of less than 20 inches of material – and you probably paid $60 for it at Dorothy’s Boutique.

Stop wasting money and dignity. A sense of humor is just as sexy as a half-naked nurse, and nowhere near as expensive (or trashy). This Halloween, I would encourage those looking for Halloween inspiration to turn away from the strip club and look instead to the ridiculousness of pop culture and a thrift store. Especially you, freshmen. If you’re really the most competitive class to enter this school (like we’ve been reminded on a daily basis), grace us upperclassmen with your innovation and get creative.

Because I know most of our dedicated students are too busy studying (and drinking) to plan a Halloween costume further in advance then the day of, here are some helpful costume suggestions I’ve thought of to ensure you won’t be confused for a streetwalker come this year’s All Hallow’s Eve.

-The NBA lockout: Don a basketball jersey and wrap yourself in chains. This is witty, cheap and easy. Comfort is debatable, but it’s got to be better than rocking six-inch-heels all night long.

-Rebecca Black: The girl everyone loves to hate. Take a white T-Shirt and write, “It’s Friday, Friday, Friday” with magic marker. There will be no mistaking who you are, especially if you belt out tunes and proclaim you’re having “fun fun fun fun.” If you’re getting a ride to your destination on Halloween, be sure to contemplate long and hard about which seat in the
car to take.

-Princess Beatrice of York: Also known as the woman who wore that absurd bow hat at the Royal Wedding. Use cardboard to create a large circle and mock-bow, and paint it beige. Or, go as sister-of-the-moment Pippa Middleton. All you need is a conservative dress, a silly hat, butt pads (for that coveted booty) and someone to pose as your sexy Euro-boy toy.

-The Nyan Cat: One of Youtube’s most popular cat sensations. Paint your face and put on some cat ears. Wear a pink polka-dotted T-shirt with a rainbow flag attached to your back. Instead of walking, I highly suggest running from party to party to guarantee the full-effect.

-Dress as a song: Last year, two of my friends were Deadmau5’s “Ghosts & Stuff.” One of them dressed as a ghost (nothing more than a sheet with two eye cut-outs) and the other one was “stuff.” She wore a plain dress and glued random items (yoyos, cards, bottle caps, etc.) to it. Try “Party in the USA,” by Miley Cyrus, “VideoPhone,” by Lady GaGa & Beyonce or “Creep” by Radiohead.

-Occupy Boston: If you participated in the rally, you don’t have to do anything except bring your “I am the 99%” sign. But you can’t be a protest alone. Get your friends to make signs and t-shirts and travel in a pack. For bonus creativity points, don’t shower for the week leading up to Halloween.
Feel free to wear your oldest, rattiest clothes and eat granola.

-Anthony Weiner: Enough said.

If all else fails and you feel like buying a costume is absolutely necessary, I would only ask one thing: don’t ever stoop as low as the “Anna Rexia” costume on www.supermodelboutique.com. It comes complete with a skeleton dress, tape measure and bone-shaped hair-bow. Next year’s “must-have” costume? Boo Limia.