In the past 48 hours my brain has been dominated by two things: The war in Iraq, and Eminem’s Haley’s Song on never-ending repeat coming from some unknown cognitive stereo in my brain. The result — France’s Song comes in the voice of Saddam Hussein. (To the tune of Eminem’s Haley’s song)

Intro (Spoken) Yo, Saddam here. I cant sing but I’m so happy that the world is divided on Bush’s war, I’m going to sing. I’m a badass Baathist that may live to fight another day … check it out …

Verse 1 (Sung) Sometimes I stare at my oil fields, I wonder how long they’ll la-a-a-ast George Bush, his daddy, Sharon and Tony Blair, they want to kick my a-a-a-ass They don’t faze me, cause I’m crazy … I love the title crazy! I play my games just so that I can waste ti-i-i-ime! But hearing France saying, “That Bush, he needs a flaying!” It all makes sense when I’m hearing their cries!

Chorus (Sung) Now it don’t feel like the world’s on my shoulders. The oil’s mine one more da-a-ay. The protesters, Russians, French, Germans, Chine-e-e-ese, They all think Bush is a sle-e-e-eze.

Verse 2 (Sung) Me and the French have business relations, I owe them billions in ca-a-a-ash. They want Hans Blix to stay in my country, I hope he don’t find my sta-a-a-ash. In-spec-tions grow bolder; my psycho son grows older, Sometimes I wish that they would just kill me fast! But hearing France saying, “That Bush, he needs a flaying!” It all makes sense when I’m hearing their cries!

Chorus

Verse 3 (Spoken) If I could sing I’d keep on singing and praising my friends My gratitude for France and Russia simply knows no end These behemoth power-players landed on the right side. Shows they’re vibin’ with Saddam, not America’s snide. Now you probably get this image from George Bush’s own words That I’m an anthrax packin’ thug who likes to gas his own Kurds He aint exactly lying but I’m a modern kind tyrant, Fanatical religion ain’t the source of my violence You see America and Israel want to take me down They want all the Arabs out so they can drill into the ground They want all Iraqis dead, they wont leave us alone And me, I only kill people who go after my throne. Now I love all my weapons more than life in itself But Bush is at my doorstep trying to take my oil wealth I’ve had sanctions and wars that have lasted way too long, Don’t they see I’m boxed in and can’t do nothin’ wrong? Listen junior Bush, I’m keeping my best toys! Think twice before you step and make me body bag your boys! I was down with your pops when you weren’t even a man From the CIA he armed me, when I took on Iran. We used to be cool, where did things go sour? Life was so much better back when Nixon was in power. But all these global protests are buying me time They prove the world’s now saying, “Bush is the slime” My weapons are safe and the French are to thank I’ll give them their cash, they’ll protest straight to the bank

Chorus

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